On The Coldest Night
by Sombereyes
Summary: He was such an impassive, stoic man. So unlike most of the other men she had come to cross paths with in her life. Here she was standing before him now as his betrothed. Could she even bring herself to love him?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I love Hinata and Gaara, and I wanted to try my hand at pairing them. Hopefully it doesn't suck, but here goes nothing.

 **On The Coldest Night  
Chapter 1**

"You're to be married."

It was amazing how such a simple sentence, could bring such a dry stillness to her heart.

Her father offered only a cold understanding to the panic she displayed on her features. "It's sudden I know."

"I-I-it is more than sudden." She took a breath. "Father, it is unorthodox."

"So it is." He agreed darkly, not allowing any emotion to show on his face. "I've received a request from many suitors over the years, but none greater than the Kazekage of Sunagakure. Gaara no Sabaku himself. I could not deny such an honorable request."

Spoken by her father, in a tone of voice that begged for no argument, she had never felt a fear so strong in her life. Her mind ran rampant with the implications, and wide-eyed, she could do no more than still her tongue between her teeth. She didn't want to say something she would regret. There was one glaring question though, one she could not, would not silence. "W-why father?"

"Why not?" He returned, though the question was anything but rhetorical. "You are old enough now. I've found a suitable husband. I see no reason to wait any longer."

"…I see."

The elder Hyuga frowned. "You are displeased."

She was, she wouldn't deny it. She lifted gray eyes to her father. "I have already promised myself to Naruto. It was my desire to be at his side."

He knew this and nodded. "You've held him in high regard for years. He has potential, and has a history of greatness no one will soon forget. Under any other circumstance, I'd allow your union to him, ill-begotten past aside. However, this was not a choice that I, alone, made. It was a request of Konohagakure, Sunagakure, and a question of your own abilities. I chose to agree, you will be married, and that is simply the truth of the matter."

She couldn't fight it.

Try though she might, she would be powerless, and Hinata chose to quietly accept the choice made for her. There would be a time and place to argue the semantics of this political marriage, but her father was not the man for the task.

"So, I shall be married to the leader of the sand, to appease those who view me as a weakness." Hinata sighed, a deep bow to her father her agreement. "I understand."

"Do not think so poorly of yourself." The man said, before gathering his things to leave the room. Back to her, he knew she was still stunned and confused. It was best this way, because he was tired, and didn't want to answer any further questions. "Sunagakure doesn't need a powerful leader, their leader needs a suitable wife. You are highly prized for your demeanor and breeding. This is why you were chosen."

…

It wasn't a marriage out of love, or duty. Some might even say that it wasn't fate either. It was just the way things were.

Merely the will of two families coming together in a show of honor, faith, and loyalty. The head of the Hyuga family, a stern man, had already written her off as a failure to the family name. As further insult to his clan, he had named her younger sister, Hanabi, the heir. Many murmured about his choice from the shadows, but it was no question who was more capable.

Hanabi was simple the better choice for the Hyuga clan.

This was certainly the mindset that many took, at least. They could hardly blame Hiashi for his decision on the matter. Hinata was a powerful ninja, but, she was not suited to the cruelty that the leadership of the Hyuga demanded. It was her attitude that posed the largest problem, it restricted her greatly. She was too gentle, too kind, and too willing to be hurt for the sake of others.

That kind of self-sacrificing mentality belonged only to the branch families. Those of lesser status. It pained him greatly, but it was the choice he made, and sadly, Hinata complied with it.

That's what bothered him the most. No defiance, no show of strength, no demand of rightful power...no, only sadness and remorse.

Hinata Hyuga was a useful bartering tool though, because she was a woman who carried Hyuga blood. Laced within their genetics was an ability worth immeasurable power. Normally, all Hyuga stayed within the clan's walls, married within Konohagakure, and lived their lives as ninja, proud and able. However that was not to be her fate, and Hinata accepted it with the same reaction as she always did.

A quiet little nod, and tears at the edges of her eyes.

…and as always, when Hinata was too compliant, her ex-teacher and still confidant, Kurenai, was the one to fight back.

"This is too far." The woman's voice ranted from beyond the thin paper wall. "Hinata should be able to make her own choices. An arranged marriage should be out of the question!"

Hiashi sighed, his fingers lifting to rub the bridge of his nose. This woman, Hinata's old teacher, did nothing but cause him strife. Kurenai tried to act like the girl's mother, a place that in all honesty, the woman didn't belong. "The Kazekage is a good man, an honorable one. He will do right by her."

"Be that as it may, Naruto is equally a good man." The exotic jonin rebuked, hands on her hips, ready to spit fire. "The boy is a little scatterbrained maybe, but she loves him. For what it's worth, he has started to take notice of her too. She's worked hard for that. I've never seen a woman as devoted to a single man as she is to him."

"It's not as if I'm the only one facilitating this wedding," he muttered lowly, his displeasure clear. "Honestly, Hinata hasn't been my concern for years now. Even you should know that much."

"You…" A scowl formed on Kurenai's beautiful face. Rage...pure unadulterated rage darkened her features. "You don't even have the decency to realize what you're doing, do you?!"

He knew all too well. That was the entire problem at hand, not that he would ever speak of that. He cleared his throat. "Kurenai…drink with me."

Surprised at his slumping shoulders, a rarity for the man on principle, she followed his lead. He took her to a small tea room, poured for each of them some sake, and then folded his hands in his lap. For a long time, they locked gazes in the same manner as they had in the main meeting room. However, Kurenai noticed something then. The tired gaze in his eyes, as if he hadn't found sleep in nights.

As if he had toiled long and hard over this issue, finding no solace.

After a few more moments, he spoke again, his words terribly grating against her ears. "The village elders asked this of me. Personally, and with great ceremony."

"So you chose to agree?" The woman hadn't any clue what was worse. "You've always been accommodating to the village's requests, but never in response to either of your children. Never once have you wavered, neither in response to your late nephew, or to your daughters."

Hiashi lifted his gazed to hers, but said nothing to this.

"I knew," she went on to say slowly after taking a sip of the drink in her hand. "You care deeply for Hinata. I've never doubted your feelings on the matter, only your methods. Even now, I know that you feel as if you're looking out for her best interests, while keeping your clan strong."

"You understand so well," Hiashi noted, "yet, you oppose my decision so greatly?"

"For Hinata's sake." Kurenai murmured, well aware that her former student wouldn't put up such a fight. Someone surely had to. "As a woman and a mother now myself, I can only think the worst of this idea. I don't understand what the village elders are thinking. Why are they choosing to do this now?"

"Gaara must provide for his village," Hiashi explained curtly. "Hinata would make a poor leader for the Hyuga clan. However, given her qualities, she will make a wonderful mother. Her bloodline limit, her personality, and her skill were taken into consideration. Hinata is without a doubt of remarkably fine pedigree. The village elders see this. It's an honor for her to be chosen."

"Shit," she cursed, shaking her head. "Naruto is going to be furious when he finds out."

"He will learn to accept his fate, if he so wishes to become Hokage as he states so freely." Hiashi sipped his sake then, and tented his fingers upon the table, resting his chin there. "I need not explain the details further, but, this was not the first request I received. Yet, of all the eligible men to request my daughter's hand, I chose the one most willing to accommodate the future needs of Konoha."

Red eyes hardened once more. "And what about Hinata's needs then?"

He chose not to speak. He simply didn't know. He could hope for the best, expect it from the man to wed his daughter. He knew all of it would never be more than speculation. "My hands are tied," he said. "There is a rudimentary courting period, as expected. If you would like to accompany her as an escort to Sunagakure, you may do so."

"I'm unable," she shook her head. She just couldn't, not with her little girl toddling about.

"On her own it is then," Hiashi concluded, as if his words were law.

Perhaps, in some ways, they were.

…

She had to leave her home, her family, and her friends behind. Even her forehead protector would be in a tiny little box in Naruto's apartment, left to collect dust, a final nod to her past. Most of all, she had to leave Naruto behind, and that parting would be the most painful of all.

"How long will you be gone for?" He had asked as carefully as he could.

Hinata, who had been dreading this discussion, brought dinner to the low table. "As long as my betrothed deems necessary. Weddings among the Hyuga are often quiet affairs, so, I assume my clan would forgo a large ceremony. What the customs are like in Sunagakure, however, I remain unsure."

"Guess I was too late." He said it with a bitter smile, sitting on the edge of his bed, eye looking out to the blue sky above.

"You weren't." Even as she said this, she could only look at the stewpot in front of her, ladling him a bowl. It seemed so final. "We both made the decision to wait before speaking with my father. That's not your fault any more than it is mine."

"I should talk to Gaara." Naruto murmured. "He would know what to do. Maybe he could just pick a different wife."

"Would he? Does he have that luxury?" Hinata felt as if somehow it would not be enough. "Naruto…listen…I have always been a person to try and become honorable. I want to be well respected, but, more so, I want to do what is best for this village." She looked to him and found his eyes staring gently back at her. "You want that too, don't you?"

Carrying himself heavily to the table, his hand found hers. "You know I do."

"Then, know this: I am a woman of noble birth." Hinata told him quietly. "Some families don't worry about bloodline, but mine does. Your bloodline is equally high in standing. That is the only reason my father even allowed me to fawn over you for as long as he has. Yet, and we both know this, in his mind it is merely innocence."

Naruto grinned at that, if only Hinata's father knew the truth. That they'd been intimate several times before, and Hinata Hyuga was no longer the virgin everyone thought her to be. His smile fell at the thought of losing the warmth he had come to expect from her. "You're going to Sunagakure, aren't you?"

"I must, even as only a formality. It may strictly be that, once the truth is spoken in earnest." Hinata told Naruto, hoping to ease him, and in turn herself as well. "The Kazekage will need to know about my impurity before the wedding. That alone, it may just be enough to get him to deny me."

"Gaara wouldn't do that." Naruto said knowingly. "He isn't that kind of guy."

That Naruto said it so easily, that he seemed to look at their joined hands on the table instead of meeting eye-to-eye, it bothered her. He wasn't the kind of man to lie, and he treated dishonesty as if it were a sin. His aversion to her stare only made her worry more. Her voice became even softer than before. "How can you be so sure?"

Naruto sighed at length. "Because it's Gaara."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Hinata murmured. "How wouldn't he take my impurity as a grave offense? I am a woman who had already been taken by your hands."

"We're the same…guys like us…we're too thankful to throw people away." He tried to look amused at his own thought, but it seemed only like deject sadness to Hinata. As if Naruto was resigning himself to step back. That was not the man she knew, she fully expected him to make a rucks. The he was so composed was unnatural, especially for a person such as him. "I don't really know about this whole marriage thing. It's not something I've really thought much about. Hmm, but I guess it'll be fine."

"Somehow," Hinata swallowed hard. "I doubt that."

"If it's him, he'll look after you. There's nothing to worry about." Naruto said with a nod. "Either way, you should give him a chance. Gaara, he's my friend, and he deserves that much. If I can't give him that much respect, I've messed up somewhere."

"If he deems me unsuitable?" Hinata asked.

"Then I'll still be here when you get back." Naruto shrugged as he took his bowl and began to eat, but not before sending Hinata one of his perching gazes. "He's a good guy. Remember that."

…

That final discussion between them had hurt her a great deal. She knew deep down, it hurt him too. He'd said it for the good of Konohagakure, and for her too. Naruto was always strangely perceptive about the things that really mattered. She mattered to him in a way no other woman did. The village mattered dearly to him too, and so did Gaara. He cared about everyone, and he didn't want to cause great pain to anyone.

That's why she didn't fight it, because if Naruto would comply with the village's whims, so would she. Packing her bags, Hinata left Konoha quietly, a nearly silent end to her abilities as a ninja of the hidden leaf.

Naruto's words then had been so clear. A completely blind, but loyal trust in Gaara.

For three long days she traveled without her forehead protector, gliding through trees, crossing the sands, until she came to her destination.

Sunagakure was large, just as big as Konohagakure, if not bigger. What made it worse was that Hinata felt like an outsider here. In truth, she was. The only indication of her status rested within the fact that she now stood before Gaara no Sabaku as an offering. At least, that's how she felt. Like it or not, she would spend an unknowable amount of time learning about her future husband. Unless their time together turned out truly unbearable for the both of them, chances were good that she would indeed marry him, as that was the expected outcome of this whole charade.

She lingered in her place, trying desperately to remain calm.

Green eyes studied her. "Hinata Hyuga, was it?" His voice was low, a near growl of pure contemplation. It was as if spoken word was near impossible for him.

She nodded, eyes kept low, answering quietly, "Y-Yes, Kazekage-sama."

"Informality," he said then, the single word order gentle, yet strangely powerful.

"Apologies, Gaara-san…" She said then, restraining the urge to bow.

He further disregarded it. "Gaara. No subtext. No title," he concluded for her as his eyes returned to the papers strewn around his desk. "The practice is unnecessary."

He was such an impassive, stoic man. So unlike most of the other men she had come to cross paths with in her life. Even Shino was easier to understand. Once again, she had to steady her mind before she traveled down a path of sadness and longing. She could have complied to marry Kiba or Shino because they cared about her, loved her in their own ways, as she did them.

She always dreamed of Naruto surely, but Kiba and Shino were the two boys she had grown close with. She had always assumed she'd be promised to either one of them. That was a fate she would have been content with, found some measure of happiness with, but this…

This man…

Could she love this man even a fraction of the way she loved Naruto? Could she bring herself to care for him, just as she cared for Kiba and Shino, people she viewed as family within their own right? Could she even bring herself to think of Sunagakure as her home?

She lifted her eyes to Gaara, and swallowed down a ball of ice that had wedged into her throat.

"If you insist, Gaara…"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello to those of you reading this fiction, it's gotten more attention than I thought it might get, so for that I'm thankful. Just as a warning though, this chapter has ties to the fourth world war, and to some of the events that occur in Naruto: The Last Movie. I just wanted to give a warning in case some of you aren't completely up to date with the anime series, or the movies.

 **On The Coldest Night  
Chapter 2  
(A Guarded Man)**

He hadn't chosen Hinata Hyuga mindlessly.

In fact, he carefully selected her out of several Konoha women. His deliberations were simple. He wanted a well-mannered wife, someone able to acclimate to the requirements of such a high position. He wanted her to be beautiful, of course. Beyond that, he needed a woman able to bear many offspring. Furthermore, he wanted a ninja capable of protecting herself, and their children, if the need ever came for it.

He sent word to Konoha, and they agreed, so long as the eligible woman in question was not the sole heir to her clan, nor a woman already promised to one of Konoha's own branch families. When he agreed to this, a list of names came to him. All of them were easily disregarded except for a few. In that handful, he spent months pondering what to do, and ultimately he settled among three of Konohagakure's finest; Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata…

All of these women he'd heard of, and they were the best in their respective trades. For Sakura, it was her medical background, something Sunagakure sorely lacked. For Tenten, it was weapon manufacture and trade, something Sunagakure was already well-known for. For Hinata it was her sensory skills, or rather, the offspring she would produce because of them.

Blue-blooded children, who would inevitably carry the Byakugan gene.

His choice came down to a matter of priorities, and Hinata Hyuga could meet almost all of them. The ones she could not, would be fulfilled by the stronger ties with Konohagakure as a result from this wedding.

Still, the morning before her arrival had made Gaara worried for many reasons. Though many would never be able to tell how troubled he was, his siblings knew. More aptly, his elder sister knew, reading his panic like an open book.

"Gaara, she'll be arriving in this office any time now to meet with you." Temari reported, her usual stern little frown on her lips. "What will you have the guards do?"

"They act accordingly." Gaara instructed his eldest sister. "You…you will act as her retainer."

"Me?" Temari almost balked at the suggestion. "Gaara that's just stupid. I'm the Sunagakure representative, do you realize how often I travel back and forth?"

"Un..." Gaara noted as he turned to gaze at the window. "You are most acquainted with her customs."

"I don't know where you got that idea, but I really don't know much about her." Temari set down her fan and then began to tidy up her side of the office where transferal papers were kept in a messy pile. "If you wanted to ask me about a lot of the other women, I see them in passing, but that Hyuga woman…she's not very sociable."

"Shy…" Gaara said quietly. "My information tells me this."

"Who exactly is your informant?" Temari asked, praying it wasn't someone filling her little brother's head with nonsense. If it was that Naruto boy, she'd have a few words for him on her next travel to Konoha, that was for sure.

"The Konohagakure representative," Gaara murmured, "Shikamaru Nara."

"Shikamaru said that?" Temari thinned her lips into a tight line. If he said that Hinata was just a shy girl, it was probably true. Even so, Temari couldn't see how that was possible. "I know her team members, both of them men."

"The bug user, and the dog user." Gaara said as he nodded, noticing a question in the glare she sent him. "I have extensively researched."

At the time, he thought little of his elder sister's curse or the roll of her eyes at him. He was used to her vexation, and instead bothered himself with the proceedings ahead. Yet, now that the day had slipped from his grasp, and he was able to gaze at his betrothed, he knew she was perhaps more than shy.

Hinata Hyuga - she was a sight...and he wondered if his assumptions were true.

A demure woman, quiet and well mannered, able to produce for him many children – that's what he wanted, and he decided that's what she would provide. Her meekness would only do well for him in the public view, showing him as a well-respected man. One of power and authority. As the Kazekage in Sunagakure, that's exactly the kind of image he needed to have.

He hoped though, that with time, she might come to respect the man within him, the one beneath such a mask.

…

There she stood, in front of this man, knowing hardly anything about him. She'd been told that he was an honest man, a good man, and a powerful one. All of these traits were ones that had made his endeavors in the fourth shinobi world war respectable to say the least. She'd heard tales of him in more ways than one, both through the eyes of the ninja world, and through Naruto.

Yet, for all of this, she knew she would have to find her own answer for Gaara no Sabaku.

His dark rimmed gaze lifted to her, and for a short time, neither of them said anything. She kept her head bowed, respectfully, because she had no other way to address him. When the silence became too much, his words pierced the air softly. "This is for your acclimation." He said, sliding a paper across his desk.

She picked up the elegant script. It wasn't a handwriting she'd seen before, and took it to be his. The paper contained Sunagakure's rules for entry, and she'd seen those plenty of times before on missions. As always, she would obey them to the letter. There was one addition to the list, however, that she hadn't seen before.

"I must always be accompanied by an attendant?" She asked, as she read the top of the page aloud.

"Sunagakure…it is unsafe." Gaara blinked down to his desk, and then once more up at Hinata. "Also, it is tradition for your clan, is it not?"

Hinata smiled, one of her father's little bad habits was to have attendants fawn over her at every turn. "Oh, it is a tradition, but only for children or the infirm. Perhaps, those unprepared to defend themselves receive one, but, it is rare in my clan."

Gaara blinked at those words, his head cocking ever so slightly to the side. "You were guarded?"

"As a child." Hinata nodded, her hands coming up to tuck under her chin. It was a nervous habit of hers. She had never been able to rid herself of entirely. "Ever since graduating the academy, I've rarely had the help of attendants. I was deemed able bodied." She didn't bother to add that her father thought so ill of her in her younger years.

Gaara continued on, unimpressed. "You will be guarded now." With precision he folded away his paperwork and stood from his desk. "If you are hungry, we will take lunch. This way."

He took her to the kitchens. His siblings had already left, if the dirty bowls in the sink were any indication. The stewpot was still sitting on the stove, with the burner turned off. Two extra bowls sat on the side, waiting for him. He made sure ladle them both enough bread and stew to last them until supper, which would be prepared several hours later.

He placed a bowl down in front of her, along with a crusty roll. He then settled himself in front of his own meal. At this, he offered her a mere glance. "You will find it satisfactory."

Taking a small spoonful into her mouth, she had to admit, it was good. It wasn't exactly a lavished meal like she might find within the Hyuga walls, but it was warm and filling. The stew meat tasted especially good, and she commented praising on the flavor. Then a thought came to mind. "Do your siblings do the cooking?"

"The staff." Gaara explained in his usual clipped way. "My brother and sister, they do not…" He paused, rolling around in his head how best to say it. "Rather, they cannot."

Hinata nodded awkwardly at this.

"After we eat, my sister will escort you." He said after another sip of soup. "You will stay with her. I will come for you."

"Alright." What else could she do? She had to agree.

She was a total and complete stranger here, and her title as a jonin meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. After they ate, it was Gaara's sister that came to get her and show her around the gigantic home of the Kazekage. The rooms were large, most of them unused. At the top of it all loomed one massive bedroom fit for a leader of his people. Hinata soon realized that even though this had once been Gaara's room alone, she too would be sharing it with him.

In the corner there rested a corner desk. It was smaller than the one in his office. His bed was much larger than she'd ever seen before. There was a fireplace, and a place to sit nearest it, from the scent of soot, she assumed it was often used. As she put down her travel bag, she could feel the eyes of the blonde haired sand sibling. Temari was watching her with stern attention to detail.

"This is Gaara's room?" Hinata asked, hoping to ease the tension.

"It was his, but it's yours now, too." Temari said, as if the marriage agreement was already ironclad. In her mind, it already was. There was no reason why a Hyuga might refuse the Kazekage. "Gaara wants you to be comfortable here. This is your home now."

Hinata bit down her retort, and took a breath. "It may not be so. I am an undesirable woman in many ways." Discomforted by this, Hinata turned around and offered the older woman a deep bow. "In any case you do not have to attend me."

"I do," Temari replied coolly, "Gaara wishes it."

Feeling not quite ready to unpack, she went to the nearest window. She lifted the wooden clasp, letting in the light and the wind. There was no glass to separate the outside from coming in. "I'm sorry, but, I just don't understand. I'm sure there are other places you could be, running a village surely isn't easy."

"Killing you would be easy." Temari told the girl in front of her, and she made no mistake about it. Hinata was just a girl, hardly a woman able to stand against the harsh elements Sunagakure was known for. "We plot, and we are plotted against every day. It's the life we lead around here. Besides that, the people of Suna expect you to be seen with a guard because of your position. Gaara's ultimate defense extends to his decisions in all matters."

"His defense…" Hinata let the words delicately trail off. "His sand."

"Yes, his sand…and his siblings. We are never far behind." Pushing herself from her place near the wall, the fan ninja cursed to herself. "Listen, Gaara asked me to make you as comfortable as possible. I can guard you unseen, if you'd rather that. Either way, I won't be far behind."

"Just stay in plain sight, if you must be within my range." Hinata's eyes crinkled as she looked out to the stands below, and the people bustling around. She could sense their chakra signatures with ease. She could also sense Temari's unease, as her chakra flowed fiercely through her body. "Without the Byakugan, I'd still be able to tell." Just as quickly as she'd utilized her bloodline limit, she'd let it dissipate. "Even when it's inactive, adults who've mastered it will still be much more aware of their surroundings than others. You'd have to stay in my blind spot all the time for me not to see you."

Temari barked a laugh. "What, you think I can't?"

"It's more trouble than it's worth. In this case, the path of least resistance will do." Hinata shrugged as she opened her backpack and began to unpack what little she had. "I don't want to be a burden. Do what works best for you, and I will conform and comply."

And that was the crux of her entire life, from as far back as she could remember. She didn't want to burden anyone, not with her failures, not with her triumphs. She was the straight-laced, gentle hearted soul who always did as she was told. She was here now for those same reasons, her father wished it, her village wished it, and Sunagakure wished it.

As long as so many people wanted it that way, who was she to deny them? Being here, it was for the greater good, and Hinata firmly believed that.

…

Back in Konoha, things weren't much easier with Hinata's absence. Naruto lost his appetite. Tossing himself into his training was the only way to keep himself busy.

They both had goals, and it was as simple as that.

He wanted to be the Hokage, and nothing was going to get in his way of that…nothing at all. That would never change. From chasing down Sasuke, to making new techniques, he wouldn't lose sight of his goal. Naruto believed too deeply in it, and had forged his place of strength from that painful promise he made as a child. He'd grown into the man he was because of it. To turn his back on his dream now, would be like turning his back on himself.

His fist was stronger than he could remember sometimes, especially under stress. Hinata had taught him to breathe through tough situations. She had always admired his tenacity, but wanted him to be calmer and more at peace with himself.

Naruto wasn't calm though, especially now where her scent lingered. She was no longer there. He worked himself with mindless vigor. It was all he knew how to do when the times got rough. Train harder, get tougher, and overcome the challenge head on. He pushed himself until he was nearly passed out, laying face up in the grass with his fangs peeking out from his lips, his breath as unsteady as the wind itself.

"You're an idiot…" Sakura said from her place, kneeling above him. "Why don't you just go to Suna and hash it out with Gaara? I'm sure Hinata wants to come home just as badly as you want her to be here."

"Eh, I can't do that." Naruto said as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"I don't see why not." Sakura sighed, caressing at his blond bangs to heal a cut he'd managed to acquire from a tree branch. "You've never let simple things like semantics hold you back before.

"Ah, yeah, maybe your right." The man shrugged with a lopsided grin that died on his lips a moment later. "See, it's kind of different now. It's important that I don't do anything this time. Somehow, I just know that staying here is best."

"Her feelings for you are important too." Sakura told him as she sat down beside him. "She's had them for so long. I told you before...they won't just up and change suddenly. A woman's heart doesn't work like that."

"Hinata's different." He knew Sakura wouldn't understand. Even if he dearly wanted her to, there were just some things that Sakura, even with all of her strength, would just never have the capacity to understand. Things that, if it hadn't been for Hinata, he would have never understood either. "Sometimes Sakura….sometimes you've got to let go of one big thing...in order to have all of the little things that really matter. She's got more on her mind than just me."

"That's pretty strong talk for a guy who spent most of his life oblivious." Sakura laughed, but it was weak, sliding through the air in a way that made it nearly silent. "She loves you."

"Hinata loves, that's what she does. She has too many things she cares about. All of those things, they mean a lot to her. She'll protect all of them the best way that she can." Naruto wanted to believe that deep down, she wanted to come back. He knew some part of her wanted to. He also knew she took too much pride in herself to actually run back to Konoha. "Believe it or not, Sakura, she's not the only one like that."

No…just as he had his dream, Hinata had one of her own too.

He could recall her words the day her older cousin died protecting him, the warm palm on his cheek, and the sternness in her eyes. He would never forget it, or her words tinged with all of the authority one might expect from the Hyuga clan.

 _"_ _Didn't you hear him, Naruto? Neji just told you that your life is not just your own anymore! Do you understand what he meant?"_

Although she had been scolding him not to give up so easily, and at the time he took it at such face value, he knew better now. He knew so well, because when Hanabi was kidnapped, Hinata had very nearly sacrificed herself to save her sister. Her love for him...it was not enough for her to choose him over her family…and, it was not enough to choose him over her village.

When it came to the greater whole, he'd always be put in second place.

"Naruto…" Sakura sighed. "Girls like it when you run after them. Sometimes, you need to do that. Especially guys like you, because that's what you do, Naruto. You go and track people down, you fight for them."

"She's better than that." Naruto said with a shake of his head "Stronger than that…I don't need to fight for her. With her, maybe….but….not for her."

Hinata was well aware that selfishness was not an option.

Though no one else really knew it, that's why he loved her so much, because they valued those selfsame things. They were willing to go to the ends of the earth, and even to the moon and back again. They'd do anything, if it meant reaching for the things they cared about most. Hinata had always walked beside him in that way. Most of the time, she'd done that as his friend, not his lover.

He had to believe that Hinata wouldn't change.

"Comrades, villages, and the promises we made…" Naruto murmured then, as he laid back down in the grass. "That's our ninja way. Love doesn't change the way we feel, it only makes it stronger."

…

When nightfall cloaked over Sunagakure, Hinata was left alone in the large room by herself. Temari was just outside the door, she could tell this without her bloodline limit, but, even so, she had to check anyway. Two distinct chakra patterns showed themselves from beyond the walls made of sand and wood. One of them was Temari's without a doubt, but the other one she wasn't sure of.

It had to be male, given the way the chakra flowed, and the spaces between some of the chakra points. She could discern this for two reasons. One, a woman's frame was smaller by nature, and secondly, the chakra system had to weave around a person's bone structure. A mere glance at the torso, and she'd know instantly if it was a man or woman's.

When Gaara opened the bedroom door, she blinked away her ability quickly.

"You are not yet asleep?" He assumed she would be, given the late hour.

Hinata shook her head, standing from the seat near the fireplace. "It would be rude, wouldn't it?"

Gaara, papers in hand, could only send her a confused gaze. He set his work down, and tended to a scorpion he kept in a glass enclosure for study. "It would not have been rude." He finally decided, turning to Hinata once more. She looked exhausted, and he wished for her to get some rest. "I do not sleep at length. You are welcome to rest as your body permits."

"What about you?"

At her gentle question he looked over to her. "I will rest after my work is done." Then, he considered the fireplace, and the wood resting in the cradle. "You are cold."

"I'm quite alright." Hinata said with a laugh that was as uneasy as it was unnerved. He could tell that without her telling him? That little bit of knowledge bothered her more than she wanted to admit. "I'm not cold at all, I just prefer to sleep in heavy clothes."

"I will make a fire." He said simply, already seeing to the preparations. "You…will rest."

"Actually, I was thinking to read." Hinata said, producing a thick tome from the side of the sofa.

Gaara nodded, kindling in hand. "Un…you will read, then."

With the fire started soon after, he retreated to behind his desk. He worked, and she poured over her book. He didn't know what it was about, but, he didn't find the need to ask either. Instead, he watched her from his distance. She absorbed herself into the texts on the page. Hours passed by like that, until the fire dimmed to embers, and Hinata had fallen to sleep curled up in the chair.

Interested in this new development, he cocked his head to the side, and picked himself up from his place at his desk.

She didn't stir as he moved about the room, collecting the thick blanket from the bed and covering her with it. "You will rest." He murmured, though he doubted the woman could hear him.


	3. Chapter 3

**On The Coldest Night  
Chapter 3  
(Questions Unanswered)**

Drums beating a tattoo in the distance boomed throughout the village streets, waking Hinata up before the sun even graced the sky.

Hinata heard them before in her travels to Sunagakure, and knew those drums were calling the children from their homes. School started for the children before sunrise, and each household and marketplace lit a lamp to help guide their way. When Hinata had been a genin herself, traveling with her team, she'd found herself amazed that such a practice even existed.

As an adult, she better understood the need for an early start. The climate demanded it.

She yawned, rubbing her sleepy eyes and her neck. It was sore from her position. She shouldn't have slept on the small seat near the fireplace. Still, the blanket around her was keeping her warm, and the fireplace had been well tended over the night. Gaara must have kept the room so warm for her sake, since the chair was not the best place for slumber.

There was a soft clinking of glass on the table nearby, and as her eyes gained focus, she saw Gaara standing there setting a canister of cold milk onto the table. Next to it was a bowl of oats. He even brought some cinnamon and sugar.

"Gaara?" She murmured, once again rubbing at her face. "What time is it?"

"Four in the morning." He said, he voice low and strangely soft. "Two hours before the sun is set to rise." It was as if he was afraid to break the morning serenity.

"That early?" She fought back a yawn.

With a nod, he began adding more wood to the fire. "You should have a snack. Breakfast comes late in the morning. You will be famished. If you instruct the staff, they will bring what you require." Then, as if another thought came to mind, he brushed away some of the soot that sat at the mouth of the fireplace. "Also, you may instruct me, I will see it done."

"What will you do now?" She asked, as she stood and began folding the blanket. He was already fully garbed in his uniform. Whether or not he'd slept at all, she hadn't a clue.

"I will work." Gaara murmured, kneeling over the fire. It crackled and hissed at the newly added wood. "I will do so now. Temari will come to collect you shortly."

She wasn't able to discern what his gaze at her meant. It didn't linger at length, and it wasn't particularly warm. Still, there was something about it, and the man who gifted her such a stare. She nodded to him, told him that she understood, and bid him to have a good day. She ate the oats that he'd brought for her in silence. Sweetening the meal with only the sugar.

On the bed, there was a basket filled with shampoo and fragrant bath oils. Next to it were folded garbs, and a brand new Sunagakure headband.

Committing herself to the inevitable, Hinata entered the large bathroom where she showered and began to get dressed. She had to admit, these were not the usual colors of the sand. The forehead protector carried a muted, yet dark, green silk band - not the standard issued black, or militant white. The slacks and shirt provided were black. She didn't see a flak jacket either, but instead, she'd been given a long ruddy coat, not unlike Gaara's own.

She found this odd, but dressed herself in the clothing provided, not surprised that they fit her perfectly. She was one of the few women she knew that didn't have problems with standard issue military gear. She was a tall woman, and that played a part in it. A knock came at the door, just as she was taking in her appearance in the wall mirror.

"You can come in," Hinata called. "I'm decent."

Temari opened the door peeking in. "Special operations red…it suits you."

"Special operations?!" Hinata turned as white as a sheet. "Why would I be in the attire of that unit?"

"A show of force." Temari said with a smirk. "Sunagakure has always viewed two colors here with the highest authority in all matters. One is the special operations unit, garbed in crimson,. The second is the Kazekage green. You are to be garbed in these colors, because you are to stand equal to the Kazekage in reverence. We want people to know this. The green forehead protector especially. No one else here will have that particular shade across their head. Only you, and Gaara of course."

Hinata picked up the silk protector in question. Along the green band were the etchings of the Kazekage symbol, the selfsame one that could be found on Gaara's hat. "Does Sunagakure truly put so much pressure on the status of one's standing?"

Temari shrugged. "More than Konoha. You're to carry several duties of your own as Gaara's wife. Up until now, Kankuro or I have been the ones to deal with the extra work that Gaara cannot do. That should be your place. Not ours."

She seemed so sure of the impending wedding, and Hinata sighed. "I told you before, I'm not a very desirable person. I am…unfit…to be Gaara's wife."

"I think you give yourself too little credit." Temari told her coolly with a cross of her arms. "He chose you."

"He did…" Yet, Hinata could only think that he was making a mistake.

The morning was filled with tasks that she would need to complete every day from now, onward. Her first duty was to oversee the training of the academy students and the genin who'd freshly graduated. Hinata would meet up with each of the jonin leaders on a weekly basis, monitoring the progress that had been made. Then she would oversee the training grounds, where the off duty chunin and genin would practice formations with their assigned squads. After that, if time permitted, she would take breakfast in the kitchen, or, in her office.

It was smaller, but it sat right across from Gaara's larger one.

"Don't mind the mess." Temari said, as she guided Hinata into the small room. "Up until now, this was just a storage area. We all crammed into Gaara's, since his office was big enough. This room hasn't be used in years."

Yet, the painting along the wall, again the color Kazekage green, made Hinata take pause. "Who was the last to use it?"

Temari, who had been moving a few boxes away from the desk looked up at the very wall that Hinata seemed so enamored with. Temari's mother was, but that was just a little too painful to say. "The wives of all the Kazekage use this room."

Once the desk was cleared, and the chair dusted off, Hinata opened the window. Her office overlooked the academy and a few less busy village streets. "What exactly, am I to do?"

Temari scratched her head, it was a hard thing to answer, really. "Your position is largely decided upon by Gaara's needs." They had to finish tidying up the room, and that was the first thing they started doing. "You might assign lower ranked missions to awaiting teams, or you may travel to allied villages to attend meetings. Some days you might be drilling genin in preparation for a joint mission, and others, you may just be co-signing paperwork."

"Sounds as if my duties will be fluctuating a lot then." Hinata sighed at this. "Alright then."

Temari nodded. "In Konoha, the Hokage may have seven or eight different assistants correlating all of these tasks. In Sunagakure, all of these tasks are regulated by bloodline. The council only steps in if it absolutely must." The door opened suddenly, knocking Temari into the bookshelf. "Damn it Kankuro!"

"Oh, hey sis." The robust middle sibling said as he set down two large boxes of scrolls. "Hinata, pleasant morning." He cleared his throat then. "Both of these boxes need three signatures. You don't need a recheck, I sealed and packaged them myself. Someone will be by to pick them up later. Gaara expects you both in his office for lunch after you're done with your afternoon tasks."

Hinata pulled the top box closer to her, looking at it questioningly.

Temari, as her assistant, explained. "These are weapon orders. Each signature verifies the safety and quality of the goods in this box. These are an almost daily occurrence." She signed her name, on both boxes, and handed Hinata the pen. "The date goes here, then your name, check the box for acting Kazekage, write down Gaara's name, and then leave a thumbprint in that last square." Temari did this by biting into her thumb, drawing blood, and pressing it to the package.

Hinata, trying to keep up with the whirlwind of new expectations, mimicked the action.

…

Somewhere between the eighteenth scroll she'd read that day, and the fifteenth request she'd signed, her mind began to wander.

How were her friends doing? How was her team faring? Kiba was kicking up trouble again, wasn't he? Shino…poor Shino, was he trying to keep the peace? How was Naruto? Was he taking good care of himself? Was he eating right? Was he getting enough sleep at night? What about putting his dirty clothes in the hamper? Was he….was he going to move on?

She could only come up with more and more questions. All of them hurt to think about, and even if she could send him a small note every few days, it paled in comparison. She missed being there, and, she missed the routine that had begun to carry over into the life she knew. Training with him, cooking for him, warming his bed under the cover of night. Naruto had been her first, and, she had assumed that he would be her last.

There was nothing she could do about that now, except give Gaara a real, fighting chance. That meant putting her past aside, at least for a little while. She was coming to terms with that, in her own good time. Gaara, he was nice to her, quiet and stern. He hadn't at all treated her poorly. Yet she could not bring herself to eat dinner when he personally brought it to her.

"You are troubled." Just like that, the man she was was able to smash down another mental barrier she thought she had strongly built around herself.

"I am alright." She told him, because in truth she was. Her thoughts wouldn't leave her ailing, she wouldn't let them. "I was merely thinking."

"Your thoughts…" He took the scroll on her desk and rolled it up. "They bother you."

"Only a little." She didn't like the tense feeling in her shoulders, brought on by slumping over the desk nearly all day. She wondered how Gaara was able to do it so easily. "I…" She could not bring herself to look at him, and closed her eyes against the image of the man standing near the window. He was a sight, surrounded by the setting sun. She took a breath. "I will be alright."

"This is unsatisfactory to me." He growled quietly.

At that, her eyes grew wide, and she could see that on his face perched a scowl, distant and confused.

"That you are not alright…now." He continued with a little huff of air, annoyed at himself for seeming to scare her. "That makes me unhappy."

She shook her head at his silliness. She had to ease him, before he unnerved her even more with his worrying. "Everything will be alright."

Because…it had to be…

"I will grow used to Sunagakure." She would too, eventually. She wasn't lying. "I will, get used to this…but it is very new to me. It will take time."

"Un." A little sound of appeasement, nothing more. He didn't know what else to do. Here this woman sat at her desk, head in her hands…she looked so mild, so unlike other jonin of accomplished backgrounds that he'd come across. Did he speak to her more, risk saying the wrong thing? He didn't know, and the gusting wind outside was beginning to fling the dry speckles of sand about. Some of them landing on the open windowsill, calling to him.

Those tiny grains, those were his answers for everything. Lock out the world, and the world could never cause pain…but, neither would it cure the pain of loneliness. It had taken him a long time to begin to trust others, to learn what friendship and kindness were. He had to admit now, perhaps he was not fully prepared to take a wife, and maybe he'd somehow broken the woman without even knowing it.

It would not be the first time he broke something he wanted.

He growled to himself, angry that he could not somehow produce the perfect answers to mend the stress in Hinata's soft gaze. "I will fix it. Tell me how. I will see it done."

"Gaara…" Hinata shook her head. "There is nothing to fix. It will be okay. It just takes time."

Time...that word was a curse. It had been so long, since any statement like that had left him feeling so powerless. He stood unmoving, he could do nothing.

…

She fell asleep in the chair again.

He stayed up to watch.

On more than one occasion, he considered moving her. What would she do? Would she become upset at him? Was that…too forward? He wasn't sure. At least the woman rested. Curled up in a small chair by the fire trying to keep warm. He would leave her alone, if that's what she wanted. Maybe she just liked sleeping in chairs...he had his odd whims after all. Why couldn't she have hers too?

Questioning them…it seemed so odd to him now.

Although, it bothered him that he couldn't bring himself to act accordingly with her. As a man of Sunagakure, he had expectations to uphold, didn't he? Wasn't that strictly the reason he summoned her here? Wasn't that the only reason? So that he could fulfill his duties to his people?

Shouldn't he be able to pick her up into his arms, without a worry to her feelings on the topic? Wasn't that his right, not only as a man of Sunagakure, but as the Kazekage? Furthermore –and here his logic waged war with his heart- wasn't it her duty to accept his advances as he saw fit? She was promised to him after all. She was to be his, by all rights...

But, that didn't agree with him, and he found himself reluctant to even go near her while she was sleeping. He didn't want to do something he would ultimately regret. If she denied him, even once, he didn't know how he would take it. So he merely went back to his work, clinging onto his Kazekage duties as the responsibilities that they were.

The wind kicked up fiercely, with the storm brewing. Both in their minds, and carrying on the wind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He was not entirely the easiest person to read, and he knew this. He and no reason to doubt that simple little fact, even if it bothered him. His life had been shrouded in a great many things. Wronged my the circumstances of his life, before he could even comprehend them.

Mistrust, misfortune, misdeed.

How could a man, such as himself, find a way to ease the unsettled heart of a woman? She seemed to fear him. How could he express himself, when all he knew was to give orders? Life was difficult for him to put into perspective, and try though he might, he hadn't a clue how to earn Hinata's favor.

He'd yet to speak more than a few pleasantries, and the ambiguousness of their exchanges bothered him. So much so, that he found himself trying to impress her with his raw power and authority alone. He'd thought that maybe she might take pride, or comfort in that alone.

"This is Sunagakure." He'd told her one day in that impassive voice of his, as they stood on one of his favorite balcony. "It is my domain. Tell me, what do you see?"

"Sand," she began quietly, "houses, and villagers." She wasn't sure what he was asking, and feared looking to him now just might offend him. "I…do not understand. Would you like me to display my Byakugan?" It was very possible that this was some sort of test.

Even with the green seal upon her forehead, her ability would be passed down to her children one day. She was sure that if time went on, and she had enough children of her own, the branch family of the Hyuga would eventually extend deep into Sunagakure's walls.

"I seek no demonstration." He sighed at length. "I am the Kazekage of these lands, do you understand?"

"It is so." She agreed. "You've held the title for a long while now, haven't you?" If things continued, she would also call this place her home. She would be the mistress that so governed Sunagakure. That truth unsettled her. "It must be difficult."

"I wish to know what troubles you." He replied, his voice taking a distinct edge to it. "I am the ultimate defense of this place. You know that already. My word is absolute."

Hinata, having been raised in a house of particularly stern men, bowed to Gaara quickly. Her eyes low, in an attempt to please him. She feared his might strike her if she didn't. "I beg your forgiveness. I…I should not have tried to hide it from you. It is just that…I…I don't quite know how to say it."

"Do not cower." He demanded with even more agitation than before. He placed a hand upon her shoulder, feeling the woman tense up as she lifted her gaze to meet his. The way he looked at her was very dry, very distant. "I told you, I will protect you."

That must have been what he meant when he'd told her that he was the ultimate defense. Maybe he was only trying to comfort her when he'd said it, and she released a slow breath. "I do not think that you would feel so inclined to protect me. Not after what I have to tell you…and I should tell you now, because it shouldn't linger between us unspoken."

"I will listen." He murmured, removing his hand from her person. It was the most he'd ever actually touched her, and he was not sure what to do with that information. Was it the right thing to do? He didn't let his mind fixate on his worries. "You have my ear."

She struggled with herself. She thought it would be a hard thing to say, and it was, a little. Yet, not in the way she thought. "I am an impure woman." Maybe, she missed Naruto too much. "I have already been taken to bed by another man."

His next question met her with narrowed eyes and a firm, low growl. "Who took you?"

"Naruto."

Just the name alone made him steady what had for a moment been a seething rage that he'd contained perfectly by willpower alone. "Naruto…" He took a breath, and let loose a purely contemplative growl. "Naruto has?" He found it all very difficult to believe, and he gripped the metal railing around the balcony. The metal squeaked as he squeezed, crunching it in his grip. Releasing it, he rubbing his eyes. When he turned to Hinata, his expression was purely confused. "Naruto of Konohagakure, has taken you to his bed?"

A blush now staining her cheeks, her voice began to fracture. "Is it really so hard to believe?"

It was unfathomable, if only because the Naruto that he knew would have come raging into his office. If what she said had been true, Naruto wouldn't sit idly by. He was mellowing out over the years, but Naruto was still Naruto anyway that Gaara thought about it. His mind searched, and found emptiness. Still, he could not doubt the sincerity in her voice or her eyes.

She was not a woman who lied easily. He cleared his throat. "Was he incorrect with you?"

Did he assume that the worst of Naruto? Hinata panicked. "No!" she shook her head. "No, of course not." She took a step back, then another. She remembered the first night she'd spent in his arms, how afraid she was, how nervous she felt. He'd been nothing but the perfect gentleman…or rather, perfect for a person such as himself. Her next words were so full of shame that Gaara had a hard time hearing them. "I was willing."

"I see." Well, what could he do about that? He had no intention of harming Naruto, and it was clear that Naruto had surrendered the woman over to Suna, else Naruto would have had a few things to say of it. Of that, Gaara was sure. Once again, confused by this woman and all of his inexperience, he forced himself to take a moment. He sorely needed it.

Gaara had been raised better than to discuss a woman's condition, yet her condition did in fact concern him. "You are not with child?" He proceeded curiously. "You are sure of this?"

"Yes...Yes I am sure." Hinata was more than just a little sure. They had used condoms, and she was on birth control, not that she would tell that to the man in front of her. "I'd be showing signs if I were otherwise." She murmured, holding fast to the well-kept facts of her particular bloodline. "I am not carrying Naruto's child."

Aside of all of the normal things a woman could expect while expecting, as a Hyuga, she would find her use of the Byakugan to be rather difficult. Her chakra, not to mention her body's functions in general would be drawn more to the child inside of her. Utilizing ninjutsu in such a state, even something so fundamentally part of her body, like the Byakugan was just not easily done. It was another thing she couldn't talk to him about, not until they were properly married. It was only for the Hyuga family, and a select few doctors in Konoha to know about it.

"You understand now, why I am an unsuitable woman for a person such as yourself." She told him quietly.

He blinked at this. Perhaps it was because he himself had been treated so poorly as a child. Yet he found the point to be strangely moot. Was he fond of the information at hand? Not hardly, but, there was nothing to be done about it. "I have chosen you." He still believed her to be the correct choice. That Naruto had once found her desirable had only proved the fact to him. "I will refrain from speaking of your liaison. No one will know."

"It doesn't suit a man of your station." Hinata protested softly. "At least, it should not."

"I will decide what suits me." He said pointedly, though his voice was one again distant in spite of his directness, and he surely required that directness of himself now. This woman seemed to have gotten the wrong idea of his image. He had to correct that. How? Now that was the question. He hated to speak at length, particularly about his past, it seemed a requirement. "I have always done so."

He began to pace. "Who are you to assume my status?" He asked, particularly perturbed at himself for lacking what some might call social skills. "Who are you, to question my whim?"

Hinata once again looked to him fearful. "Please...please do not take my words as an insult. T-That was not my intention. I promise you. It was not your status. It was my own, that I bring into question."

Once again he cursed himself. She did not understand. "You know nothing." He visibly deflated. "You have no reason to question…" Taking a seat on a bench not far away, his shoulders slumped with the weight of his thoughts. "Understand, my position is a fragile thing. Once, I was lesser than that of a street urchin." He looked to her then, his lips twitching into a bitter smile. It was the only time he smiled anymore. Out of anger, and bitterness. "I was beneath even them. I was a monster. That is all that I once was."

Position meant nothing to him, so long as he was understood. He wished dearly to be.

"I have made my choice. I have decided on you." He told her again, as if that would somehow ease her worries. One glance in her direction told the man that he hadn't. Thinking his overtures were perhaps not enough, he stood once more and addressed her face-to-face. He collected her chin in in-between his thumb and first finger. Hinata was an exquisite woman, anyway he looked at her. Pleasing to him in appearance, yet perhaps too docile.

With his voice quiet, his words came from him as firm as law. "We will be wed, you and I...I wish it, and so it shall be." He then released her from his grasp and turned to go back to his office, leaving her digest his newest announcement. In truth, he needed a moment to himself as well. As soon as he was out of sight, his back leaned hard against the nearest wall he could find.

Once…

Just once…

He wished someone else might gaze upon him, such as Naruto had back in his youth. He further wished that sight to be from a woman. Was that so much to request? He didn't know. He had no idea, because those who praised him did so from afar. They knew nothing of his troubles. Of how he fought for masterful control over everything he did, while also seeking someone who might understand his reasons for such a thing. That they might understand his terror, his desire to be different from his memories, but those were things he had no words for, and so he had no way to give comfort to others.

Still, he knew it was too soon to give up, and he would have to try.

…

"You want me to tell you what?" Temari asked later that day as she dropped a weapons box nearly onto her foot in shock.

"Tell me about him." Hinata murmured quietly. "Tell me about Gaara."

"Should you be talking to him…about, ya know, himself?" Temari asked, almost put off by the request.

"I would speak to him, if only I know what I could talk to him about." Hinata replied, still very troubled. She went through the motions of her job, but she was distracted by his words earlier that day. She couldn't get them out of her head.

"Like that's any of my concern." The blonde went back to her work, this time more prepared to deal with any more odd questions the shy woman could come up with. "Why ask me about him anyway?"

Hinata sighed at great length. "Well he is your brother." She said a bit uneasily, finding those green eyes of Temari to be a bit more intimidating than she expected. "To be honest, I've found conversations with him to be…rather difficult, to say the least."

He seemed so sure of himself, so positive that he wanted her. Yet, all she had been given the chance to feel was fear and awkwardness. She felt no love for him, no joy, or pleasure in his presence. Yet, it wasn't exactly as if she loathed the time she spent with him either. She didn't hate the man, she just felt…confused…and lonely. Unbearably lonely, here in a place where she had no one to really befriend.

Kankuro kept his distance, and Temari was abrasive.

"Please help me." Hinata didn't know what to do, because, as her wayward heart reminded her time and time again, Gaara was not like Naruto. Still, she had to do something, and Temari was the only insight she'd have into Gaara's life. If he kept talking circles around her, as he seemed intent on doing, she would never understand him. "All I seem to do is upset him. I don't even know how I'm to approach him. This is all so very overwhelming."

Temari cursed under her breath. "Not exactly surprised." She said as she hoisted herself up onto Hinata's desk since there was no other place to sit "Okay, so, here's the deal. Gaara's always uptight. He's not used to other people, and I'm sure that can make him seem kind of like an asshole…but he's not."

"I didn't think he was…" Hinata disputed gently with a shake of her head. "I just can't seem to talk to him though. He seems to be…upset with me, whenever I do try to talk to him…and today, I don't even know what happened between us. He just...and I…I haven't a clue what to do."

"His scowling, you mean." Temari said, nonplused. "He gets angry at himself. That's not your fault. He'll figure it out, but that takes a bit."

"I understand the frustration but..." Hinata couldn't put her finger on it. "That's one example of many, and something else was wrong today. I'm sure of it, I said something that truly upset him."

"You and all of Suna." Temari shrugged. "Look, Gaara was almost killed a few times. He was a kid. That kind of thing screws a person up. He's got a lot of baggage, but that's on him to talk about. I can't begin to guess was goes through his head, and frankly, I don't ask." When Hinata shot her a surprised look Temari balked. "Hey, don't look at me like that."

"Is he so difficult to speak to, even for you?" Hinata asked her.

The eldest sand sibling thought on that. Gaara just wasn't a talker. He was a good listener though, he'd seemed to pick up that trait due to his preference for silence. "If I want to banter with someone, Kankuro is more fun to get into a fight with. Gaara's my little brother, but I stay out of his head. He doesn't like the scrutiny."

Putting her face into her hands, Hinata was no closer to understanding Gaara. In fact, she felt worlds away from him. "Then, what on earth do I do?"

"Keep talking, let him listen. If you stop trying to figure him out and just go with it, you may have an easier time." Temari told her as she hopped off of the desk, replacing the empty space with an open box that needed sorting. "Then again, maybe not. With Gaara, you never know."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Short chapter since I haven't given an update in a while. Work has me slammed, but I wanted to provide assurance that this isn't abandoned. As a result, another update will be coming your way sometime next week on one of my days off. Not sure if it will be Monday or Tuesday, but it will be one of those two days.

 **Chapter 5  
(A firelight conversation)**

Like every morning, he tended the fire quietly so as not to wake her, but the truth was, she hadn't been sleeping. She'd been listening, eyes closed to his feet shuffling across the floor. To the wood sizzling in the pit, the near soundless brush of his palms against the fabric of his clothes. She listened to his soft breath, and low rumble that came from someplace deep in his chest. The clinking of glasses as he placed a morning snack on the table. Another low rumble that came from him, sounding almost thoughtful. Then, more sounds from near the fire came, the soft sliding of metal upon hot coals.

Cracking her eyes open, she saw him, gazing at her from his place upon the floor.

She offered to him a waning smile, but he only looked away. Back to the firelight, the safe place to keep his gaze. It was only after he was satisfied that the flame was well tended, that he took his place in the nearby chair. He said nothing, yet by the looks of him, he felt nothing needed to be said.

She remembered Temari's words. Talk so that he could listen…

That was easy enough in theory, but, would it really work? Hinata wasn't entirely sure, and more often than not, people didn't listen. Not truly. They didn't know what went on inside of her head. Truthfully, she didn't want them to. All of her life was tantamount to what she could, or couldn't do.

Her entire existence was quantified over the things she truly couldn't control. She'd learned to be okay with it. To nod her head agreeably, to go about her day, and live the only way she knew how. She took missions, she trained hard, and she listened to her elders, and revered her betters.

From what little she knew of Gaara, he wasn't a frivolous man.

She didn't want to burden him with nonsense, so her first words on that morning were important. "Self-confidence…it is my favorite phrase." She said it while looking into the firelight. She had no idea of if he'd heard her or not. Even so, her voice continued to waft quietly in the serenity of their room. "It is easy, I think…to…to see all of the negative things in the world. I think, it's even easier to try and live up to the expectations of others…entirely forgetting the expectations you set for yourself." She looked to Gaara then, wondering what she might see in him. "It's funny, really…also, it's sad."

He blinked, but said nothing to this. Ever so still, he might have been mistaken for a monument in the dim light. He was looking at her though, the tiniest tilt of his head an indication…but of what, Hinata wasn't sure. Was it interest, or boredom?

Shyly, she looked back to the roaring flame. "My expectation of myself, is that I never go back on my word. If it is within my power to uphold my promises, I'll hold them to the letter. I value honesty and sincerity." Hinata bit her lip, and curled the blanket more tightly around herself. "I say this, because I…I don't…want you to think me a cruel person. I-I honestly...wouldn't wish the agony a Jinchuriki endures on anyone."

His voice was deep, but calm. "And what would you know about that?"

She almost smiled bitterly. "So much, and yet, so very little." Hinata admitted. Many things came to mind, some tiny little tiffs, others terrible experiences. "I cannot say I agreed with my tutelage on the subject, but I was warned of the dangers. The tailed beasts were part of my lessons. I was taught to dislike them, avoid them, and keep to my own kind. My father, and grandfather, taught me so."

"Hmm." A sound of pure understanding passed his lips.

"It didn't occur to me until much later that Naruto carried one within him." She told Gaara, but, it still didn't ease the ache. "Once I learned that, all of the times he'd been treated so poorly suddenly made sense to me." Distantly, the drums beat, signaling a new day. She made note of them, staying quiet for a while, until she could do so no longer. "I…am still not as self-confident as I would like to be. I am still a coward. I know I am. Willing to die for what I believe in, yet fearing to live for those same goals. I still flinch, and I am very much clumsy when I am upset or nervous…but…"

But what? – His eyes seemed to ask this, concerned, narrowed and gazing with heat. The other day, Hinata assumed this gaze of his meant anger, now, she wasn't sure.

She bowed her head to him deeply. "Jinchuriki are not monsters and they are not unworthy of happiness. They do not frighten or repulse me…" then a little more quietly, her voice cracked out. "You don't…you wouldn't. Not because of that.

Gaara sighed at this, crossing his arms as he regarded the woman that so took his fancy. "You should fear." He murmured then, recalling times when his more animalistic side clawed at the back of his mind. "Jinchuriki are feral. We remain so." Finding his explanation inadequate, he growled once more. "I remain so." Perhaps he no longer sprouted fangs and claws, yet his instinct, his nature, was no so easily ripped away from him. Even after death, his life was not that of a complete human. He had a taste, and desire for things that any normal villager wouldn't dream of. "Some fear is justified. I am a murderer, I will not pretend otherwise."

"I don't want to be afraid." Hinata told him. "What good does it do?"

He stood from his place and gathered his cloak from the back of the chair. "No amount of atonement will prove suitable. My sins are too great for repentance." At this he glanced to her, his expression placid, his words even. "Fear is self-preservation. Instinct rightly learned. I do not blame them for it. I would not blame you."

Hinata shook her head at him once more. "I...I'm not that heartless."

"No." Gaara agreed quietly. "You are not."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Leaving this here for you all.

 **Chapter 6  
(Intensity, Part 1)**

He wasn't an expressionless man. Far from it. It was merely that Gaara was not the type of person to display his emotion in the way that others might.

It wasn't just a stoic sense of pride. Instead a place of honest confusion. Hinata had grown to learn that he was very curious in his silence. That a lack of response wasn't exactly a bad thing. From her morning talks with him, she'd seen gentleness. He didn't say much, in fact most mornings, he said nothing at all. At moments, he would nod, or cock his head to the side. Others, he would blink, and make a soft little sound in the back of his throat. When he did speak, it was of darkness, of unhappiness.

Behind his desk he, Gaara's personality changed entirely.

He seemed to magically transform from mild mannered man, into a harsh and direct leader. He was a firm handed Kazekage, and he made sure his word was law. Hinata happened to be in his office on one afternoon. He was giving orders to a few curriers, his words curt, and implication deadly.

"You will deliver the parcels without delay or incident."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama."

"If you fail in your mission, consider yourselves willing sacrifices."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama."

"If you return with unfavorable news, expect worse from me."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama." The curriers said in unison one final time as they dismissed themselves.

A low, perturbed sound found the air. "Unthinking robots, all of you. Death is useless." He wondered if they heard him as they exited the room.

It was only after they left that Hinata sent Gaara a sideways glance. "You are not usually so cold with your operatives." Hinata said knowingly, she'd witnessed him speaking to others before. To the particularly young genin, he was a beloved teacher. To the children, he was nearly a god. They flocked to him when he so much as stepped foot onto the school grounds. "You wouldn't truly hurt them, Gaara, would you? Your kin?"

He gave her a withering look. Was she disappointed in him? He sighed, unsure. "My father's men." Gaara explained. "They hail from a time when failure meant death."

"He was such a person?" Hinata asked as she finished categorizing the mission rosters. "Your father."

He thought on this for several long moments, until Hinata thought he wouldn't speak a word. Then he thought longer, his eyes roaming the legacy his father had left behind. This room, the meaning and power behind it. Finally, Gaara found words to say. What he had to say were not a kindness, and he doubted very much that a Konohagakure ninja would ever truly understand. Still, he found the inclination to try.

"Hmm. Yes. Kazekage are." It was a generalized, but mostly true statement. It was true of even he, himself. "Utilitarian, but, not unkind." Gaara said, but his voice kept a careful distant. "Ruthless, yet merciful." He stood from his desk, coming to sit down by her side. Giving her only the brief glance. "It takes such a man, for a village such as this."

"Do you trust me?" Hinata murmured.

He looked at her more soundly, a question, nothing more.

"Do you trust me?" Hinata asked again, wringing her hands in her lap. "People who were close to you, they tried to kill you. I don't know if I would ever be able to trust anyone again. If that happened to me... I-I don't know what I might do."

Understanding, Gaara closed his eyes. A low hum slipping from his throat. After some thought, his eyes opened once more. "I was a threat. To myself, to the village. The acting Kazekage acted accordingly. That is all."

"But still." Hinata let air slip from between her teeth. She worried over the answer. "He was your father."

In this, Gaara nodded resolutely. "You ask of me a question of trust. I could extend to you the same question."

"Because of your past?" She asked.

He only nodded, soundlessly as ever.

"As ninja, we're all killers, Gaara." Hinata said quietly. "I am too." She'd spilled more than enough blood in her lifetime. No ninja, not even the kindest ones, were without blood on their hands. "When we wear our forehead protectors, we accept that responsibility." Hinata told him fervently. "We must."

Even she had killed a man, and every death she caused weighed heavily on her mind. It pained her so much. She could still remember her first kill, blood and chakra dripping from a mangled body. The man's lifeless eyes gazing at her. Kiba and his pup cowering at Hinata's body, covered in red that was not her own. Shino was wounded, unable to stand, let alone comfort her.

It was not a pure sense of duty that drove her into spearing the man over and over until his innards painted the grass. It was fear, terror, disgust. Unknowing if Shino would recover. Unknowing if she too, would suffer at the hands of her enemy. Her mind was a snails pace, even as her hands drove the knife deeper into the corpse. His chest, his belly, his eyes...god his eyes...

Kurenai was the one that stopped her as that terrified thirteen year old. Pulled the knife away, and Hinata into a strong hug. Hinata could still hear herself screaming as tears ran down her face. She felt sick moment later, vomiting her lunch. Later that day, she even avoided her dinner, and ended up crying herself to sleep in her teachers arms that night.

It had taken weeks before Hinata could part herself from Kurenai's protective shadow, and motherly guidance. Months thereafter when the nightmares stopped haunting her, and team eight could take missions once more. Years later, numerous kills under her belt, it still made her sick if she dwelled on it for too long. She still hated doing it, and yet, in spite of all of that, she took missions.

C-rank, B-rank, A-rank...S-rank...the war... She too, was a sinner. "I chose to put blood on my hands. I am equally terrible. I can judge you, I wouldn't."

"We are not equal." Gaara began, a command in his voice. It told her to shut up. To listen. To understand. Idly, he wondered about her. Would she flee he told her everything? He could only give a small test to find out. "When I was young, I had a taste for blood. Human blood. Even now, I prefer my beef raw, dripping. Hunting is titillation. I have not entirely grown out of old, depraved habits. As I have discovered, I still have unsound thoughts."

"W-what kind…of thoughts?" She couldn't believe she asked that, but inquiring minds wanted to know.

He swallowed hard, the sound permeating the air. "You would not want to know."

"I do." She leaned near him. Trying to understand this puzzle of a man.

He caught a whiff of her scent, the salt of her skin, the waft of her shampoo. He leaned into her, and the smells grew stronger. His eyes narrowed, and his nose ran along the curve of her neck. Hinata moved to pull away, but he grabbed her, held her by the collar of her shirt. She'd have to force herself away if she wanted an escape. "I have wondered, of you." He spoke gently, a growl in his voice. "In passing, of many things. Of how your skin might taste. Of how it might feel. Of your scent. Of the nature of your kindness. Of your words. Of you, as you are. I burn when I think those things. I want to test. I want know." He breathed hard as he yanked her against him. A low purr in his chest, a husk in the depths of his voice. "These thoughts…" He breathed in her scent once more and let her go. "They are unsound."

She pushed away instantly. Her heart beating fast in her chest, he had truly given her a moment of fright. As she placed a hand over her heaving bosom, she shook her head. She knew what he was talking about, but that was normal, wasn't it? She wasn't sure. She'd only ever been with Naruto in such a way. Naruto could be very gentle, but he could also be very hard to satiate. There were times he had accidentally been rough. Times when he sprouted fangs, and became more fox-like in his mannerisms.

Student of the pervert sage, indeed. Hinata didn't think it wise to tell Gaara about those details, even if she expected he might display similar actions in an aroused state. More like a beast than that of a man. She swallowed hard. "That in my experience, those kinds of feelings at least…" A blush crept to her cheeks. She really shouldn't be the one explaining it to him. "They are not unsound."

Though what they were exactly, she wasn't sure. Instinct, perhaps? She thought so. "I believe them to be normal, for a person such as yourself."

His body told him otherwise. He felt a rather pleasant stiffening beneath the fabric of his pants. He had only felt such stimulation after a hunt, after a good meal, and in his youth, after a kill. To have such a feeling, without the desire to harm another person had never once crossed his path. He had never known desire to be anything but satisfied by devouring someone, something.

He had never known the desire of gentleness, and yet, this woman called from him such a direct need. A need to be kind to her. A need to shelter her. A need to have her as his own. A need to claim her beneath him and discover what other smells and sensations he could draw from her. He could feel a rumble in his chest, and it was a sound even alien to him.

He forced himself up from his seated position, stalking out into the large hallway without even saying a word. Truth be told though, the way he'd unknowingly colored his cheeks in a deep blush told Hinata all that she needed to know.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7  
(Intensity, part 2)**

Gaara avoided her for the rest of the day, refusing to tell anyone why that might be. Temari, as usual, attended Hinata when Gaara was unable, and their afternoon had been riddled with a mix of paperwork. D-rank mission assignments were doled out by the fist full. Hinata was now beginning to learn the names of the young graduates, and could remember a great deal of them now. Their jonin superiors were mostly men, but there was one woman who stood out. She was older, commanding a huge squad of six girls.

"Why does she have so many?" Hinata asked Temari, honestly confused. "Three students to a team is the usual, correct?"

Three of them were older genin, around Hinata's age, and three of them were young…very young. Temari considered this as she gave Hinata a shrug. "Those girls are special cases. Young academy graduates, great potential." At this, she handed Hinata the team file. "Maybe, too great. I didn't want to put them with a man because of how young they were. I felt like, they still needed a woman around. They're at a hard age to be genin."

"An eight year old!?" Hinata couldn't believe it. The youngest girl was just a child. Well and truly, just a child. She should be at home, with her family. "Temari, she's too young."

"That one's no slouch, damn kid freaks me out. She killed her mother's assailant at seven." Temari said darkly, remembering the incident. "Single mothers are often subject to biases. People here view women as lesser beings, especially the civilian ones." Temari shook her head. "Anyway, her father had been a noble chunin, killed in the line of duty. He'd been training the girl. An academy student with that kind of skill, it's unheard of. We graduated her immediately."

The other two were young as well. Two ten year olds. Hinata took a breath. "I think I need to rest a bit."

The elder sand sibling nodded. "Come on, I'll take you to your room." As they walked, she thought about how young she was when she began to take missions. It had been an early age too, being the daughter of the Kazekage, it had been a requirement in order to earn respect.

When they got there, Hinata noticed another chakra signature in the room. She knew by now the owner of that pattern. Gaara was in there, she just didn't know why. As they opened the door, it soon became apparent.

"What is it?" Temari asked, Hinata never stopped dead in her tracks like that before.

"He's…sleeping." She walked in slowly, Temari following behind. "Does he do this often?"

Temari rolled her eyes. Gaara was sleeping in the chair Hinata occupied. "He doesn't sleep." Temari reported, knowing that his bed often went unused. He'd nap at his desk, sometimes, but never in the chair by the fire. "He probably passed out again due to exhaustion." Temari didn't bother asking why her brother chose this particular day to sleep in the odd place. "He'll be awake in an hour or so. He never rests long."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Hinata covered him with a blanket, but he didn't move an inch. "How can he even function like that?"

"It's just the way he is." Temari shrugged. She never really knew why, no one did. As long as Shukaku wasn't running amok, no one really cared. As a result, Gaara's heath wasn't well monitored in his youth. Many of his habits were left alone, untreated. Thinking back on it, the eldest sibling could only pity her little brother. Hinata's white and purple hoodie rested on the chair under his head. The article of clothing was one she only put on at night anymore, and Temari made note of it. "That little shit. Think I he's got your sweater, Hinata."

So he did, but that only left her more confused. "Why would he have that?"

"I have no idea." Temari couldn't even fathom a guess. "Maybe he just likes the smell?"

"Now why on earth would he like the smell of-" Hinata's words died instantly, and a deep blush burned her cheeks. "Oh." She took a step backwards, and then another. "Oh gosh…"

"Uh, are you okay?" Temari asked, not ever having seen Hinata appear so ill at ease, looking as if she might actually faint. She knew the girl had spells, but, she'd never actually seen one. Temari moved quickly, pulling the girl out of the warm bedroom and into the cooler hallway. "Here, let me look at you."

"I-I'm fine." Hinata pulled her chin away from the older girl's hold. "I'm fine…" Her back was still resting against the wall so that she wouldn't fall and hit her head.

"You looked like you were going to keel over." Temari said, highly unimpressed. "I knew you had a weak constitution. I just never figured it'd hit so suddenly."

"I'm just light headed." Hinata said, but in truth, she felt a little queasy too.

Temari's room was next door, and she yanked the girl inside, dragging her to the loveseat that Temari kept in the corner. "It's cooler in here. Do you want a cold cloth?"

"I only need a moment." It was because of her bloodline limit, on top of her shy demeanor. "It's just that my chakra points are larger than yours around my face. My blood vessels are too. When I activate the Byakugan in my eyes, you can see them it clearly. The problem is, if get nervous or flustered, well, I can get lightheaded."

"So that's why your blushes get so deep." Temari clicked her tongue, amused. "But why would you freak out about Gaara sleeping on your sweater?"

Hinata sighed, glancing at Temari. No, she wouldn't know the reason behind that, now would she? Hinata hid her face in her hands. She honestly wished Kiba were here, he'd be able to explain unabashedly. He also had a good sense of smell, thanks to the chakra he collected at his nose. "Animals have a keen sense of smell. Sometimes so do tailed beasts. That gets passed onto the Jinchuriki."

"Yeah…so what?" Temari asked, hands now on her hips. "What's so embarrassing about that?"

"It just is!" Hinata proclaimed, shame in her voice. Even thinking about it gave her embarrassing flashbacks of her youth, when Kiba used to smell the air around them during missions. He'd always act very strangely during particular times of the month, and that normally when Kurenai would scold him for being improper. "Gaara can probably….smell when I'm _most_ fertile."

A dirty little smirk slid across her face. She thought about the perplexed expression her brother had on his face earlier that afternoon. The blush, the annoyed little glare he gave her when she asked if he was okay. His disappearance, and finally, his draw to Hinata's hoodie. Then a laugh bubbled up, and she couldn't contain it, peals of laughter filling the air. "The poor guy." She had to lean one hand on the wall for support. "He probably scared himself shitless."

"P-poor him!?" Hinata flushed red again. "Poor me…"

…

It was late at night when she finally returned to her room, Gaara wide awake and fiddling with a few kunai on his desk. He was changing the tape around the handles by the looks of it. She didn't inquire, and he didn't lift his gaze to her. If he could detect anything, he didn't indicate it. With a breath, Hinata went over to her chair, gathering her book up to read the next chapter.

'The bed." He intoned quietly.

"I'm sorry?" Hinata thought she might have misheard.

"You will utilize it." Gaara said, lifting his eyes from his project. "The bed."

It was a strange conversation to have, considering he never made a fuss before. She always occupied the chair late at night. She'd been sleeping there ever since she arrived. True, her neck sometimes bothered her, but she called that a fair exchange. It wasn't the most comfortable place to be, but she was used to sleeping in trees, and on the hard ground. She was a ninja trained for the field, and as such, she occupied much of her sleeping time away from a warm bed. This too, she considered a mission of sorts.

Figuring Gaara out was no easy task, after all.

"I don't mind, truly." Hinata said slowly. "I enjoy being by the fire."

"It doesn't do." Gaara continued. "If you require, I shall arrange the bed closer."

She wasn't getting out of this tonight, by the looks of it. She swallowed hard. "A moment, please, Gaara."

She gathered her pajamas, and walked into the bathroom. She had yet to see him undress, and he had yet to see her. Hinata planned on keeping it that way for a while longer, her own modesty demanded it. It was only after she got changed and ready for bed that she eyed the reason for Gaara's displeasure once more. That chair, her only safe haven. He didn't want her sleeping there. She withheld a breath, her mind clawing at her to not run fleeing back into Temari's room.

One, she knew the girl wouldn't let her stay there. Two, she didn't want to hear anymore uproarious laughter at her modesty's expense.

"You fear me." His statement was dark. Untrue perhaps, but the implications was there all the same. "You do think me a monster. It is why you distance yourself. Why you cannot condone nearness at length." He would test his theory. Test her words against his firm handedness. His eyes found hers, emotionless in their gaze. The one place that Hinata was beginning to learn of the man, was little more than a void. "Cowardice is advisable, there is no shame in it. You should be so, honestly."

She knew, in spite of his accusations he was nonplused. That she even had to guess at all to his emotions, meant he didn't feel strongly enough to act in any particular way. Sound reasoning and ironclad logic on his behalf would win out. Still what he was saying went against her nature.

It angered her. Infuriation was not an emotion to which she was well accustomed.

Hands balled into fists, she fought hard to keep her chakra out of the equation. As a Hyuga, that was particularly difficult, control was a perfected state of breathing and difficult training. "You…you doubt me?" It was a hot question gifted by a cold shaking in her voice. "You think _that's_ the reason why I…" She forced air through her nose, a hard swear gifted no sound. She shook her head. "You are a ludicrous man, aren't you?"

He inclined his head. It was not something he expected to be called. Such a word had never been aimed at him. At his siblings, such a definition would befall them, but never upon him. Neither as a monster child, or the Kazekage. It would have been a fatal error, in many cases, it still was.

Hinata stalked forward, getting into his personal space. What she hoped to accomplish was lost to her, but her actions startled him. "It…it is not your nearness that bothers me." She was too close, an inch more, she'd would be pressed up against the man entirely. Even so, she could feel his breath upon her neck, hear his deep exhales, and hear a deep rumble from his chest. She lifted a hand to him. Palm outstretched upon his chest, and he took a step back out of surprise alone.

"I'm a woman of the Hyuga clan. I was born and raised to submit to my betters." She told him, unflinchingly agitated in herself. She never thought herself so unclear. In fact, she assumed herself rather direct for a woman of her particular nature. "I…um…I was also taught by my jonin leader that the old ways, are perhaps not always the right ways." She backed away then, swallowing hard. "It's not because of what you are, it's because of your intentions."

"You are to be my wife." Gaara told her. "The concept is not difficult."

"It is." Hinata murmured. "Some marriages are for appearances. Others, are diplomacy. Of course the obvious ones are for progeny. There are ones to protect clans, and further alliances. There are even some that are made to plot against others. Arranged marriages for ones such as ourselves, they hold weight." She wondered at his aims, his goals. "Very few are…for…f-for…love." At this, her gaze fell to the floor. "I don't…we never spoke of it….what you hope to gain from all of this."

It worried her.

She bit her lip, missing Konoha all the more. With Kiba and Shino, she had always just been one of the guys. How many times had wrestled around in the soft grass? How many times as they grew older did she rest her head Kiba's chest, or let Shino wrap his arms around her on winter cold training nights? How many times had she pushed her modesty aside when Naruto decided to get a little perverted outside the safety of his bedroom?

It never mattered, because in the end, she knew what they wanted. It was never anything impossible to give. They knew her limits, she knew theirs...Gaara wasn't like them. He was a different kind of man, resolute, lonely. She sighed, so very angry at herself. At the unknown. She was afraid of the unexpected, and surprises.

"I expect for you to take sleep in the proper place." Gaara intoned. "That is all I expect for you on this night."

"That..." Hinata swallowed hard. "That doesn't answer my question." Face to face, too close for comfort. "I...I need an answer."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Don't you hate being an adult sometimes, welcome to the theme of my week. Lol! I hope you are all having a better week, or at least that this chapter brightens it for you. Furthermore, have a good weekend everyone!

 **Chapter 8  
(Intensity, Part 3)**

Gaara froze, calm, cool, and collected outwardly.

Inwardly, his mind was scrambling for the shattered pieces of his past. His history, as only he could comprehend it. A bad place, filled with death and darkness. Born and raised into being a stoic killer first and foremost, had a very limited understanding of domestic matters. He knew what was expected of him publicly, but he had no idea how to respond privately to Hinata.

He had no answer for the woman.

His village only demanded one thing of their union- producing offspring.

He had never given any thought to how he might acquire her trust to get to that point. The wedding would be enough of a qualifier. She would have to offer herself freely to him to consummate it eventually. It had been wrong of him, perhaps, be he also hadn't assumed she expected anything more from him. Rather, he assumed she wanted nothing to do with him.

That she, as his wife, would likely find him impossible to be around.

It was the life he knew, behind closed doors. He was the failure. He was the darkness. The monster. The demon. A thing. Property. Pet. Never a person…never…a person. He had worked hard to gain respect, but that was a fragile thin. The trust he had earned was thin ice at best. Her trust for him was different, more like Naruto's, more unwavering...but he didn't know how far it went.

If it could stand the pressure, the weight of his sins.

"Gaara?" Her voice called to him.

He blinked. A low pensive growl found the air. What was he to say? what could he say to appease her? "Indicate what it is you need. I will see it done." He flicked his eyes back to hers. "I believe that is the most harmonious way to accomplish our tasks."

Hinata tried not to smile at his expression. His eyes seemed to want to stick to her like glue. Seemingly, he desperately wished them not to do that. A thought occurred to her then, but asking seemed wrong somehow. "You've never..." She looked away too, eyes focused on the scorpion he held in captivity. No, she couldn't ask if he dated before. It was clear he hadn't. She rephrased the question to something more innocent. Something more deserving of an answer. "When was the last time you actually went out and had fun?"

"I do not fraternize." He explained. That was a job for his brother, and if there was one thing Kankuro liked to do, it was enjoy himself to the point of idiocy. "Rather, there is no need for me to do so."

"But, there is…" Two steps forward and one step back. The challenge was almost fun now, just seeing his reaction. "That's how friends are made, how people learn about each other."

"Odd practice though it is." Gaara conceded, his attention directed to the window. His eyes on his village, his people. Was that what she wanted? To be taken out into the streets? To shop and eat at various venues? If that was all, it was most easily accomplished. "You need that? Outings?"

Hinata sighed. "Well, no…I don't need to…I suppose." She strode past him, and over to the glass tank that held the deadly little creature. She wondered if it would slowly go insane all cooped up liked that. Or, if like Gaara, it had eventually given in. Accepted a particular fate. "Though, it's not good to be locked up all the time."

"I do not understand." He growled.

"No...you wouldn't...would you?" Hinata felt bad for him. "Even the Kazekage needs to relax every now and then. You are only human."

"That is debatable." He fired back coolly. The woman could confuse him without even trying. Her nearness proved his theories wrong time and time again, leaving him bankrupt of any and all notion of what he should do…or, what she might allow him to do. "You ask me of personal gains." He began, but found that to be somewhat lacking. "You want to know." It was a statement.

"I do ask that." She told him, though truth be told, she was asking more than that. "I want to know, what you want from me."

"Outside of progeny, I require nothing from this marriage." His simple and authoritative air was his comfort, his resolve. So, he found himself befuddled. Why was he so compelled to ease her? "Though, I suppose requirement and elective are two vastly different categories." He didn't bother to look at her when he added, "Both of which merit consideration."

At this, Hinata nearly laughed. He truly was a ludicrous man, wasn't he? The two of them couldn't go on like this, and someone would have to play hardball. It wasn't going to be him. She had to do it, if she wanted answers. "So…then…consider this." Her voice became light, delicate to the air. "I'm a woman…with whom you've decided you…you would like some sort of future with. Doesn't that say anything to you?" She nodded towards him, the space between them. "Wouldn't it be best to, as you say, fraternize?" She neared him, until once again, they were too close. Too near for both of them to be comfortable with. "We hardly know each other."

"I know enough." He murmured then, stock still.

"You remind me of Neji, my cousin." Hinata said slowly. She pushed herself to take a good look into Gaara's eyes. See the things he himself could not. "When we were young, before I knew what is was to actually speak up." That distantly cold look, that's what it was. A locked away mentality, as if Gaara himself was still trapped in a place he had never been let out of. Like his past still haunted him, as if his destiny hadn't been swayed. "Before he knew that if he did, it would make a difference."

"I am the Kazekage." Hot breath, but hardly spoken. "My word is law. I speak, I am heard. That is a fact."

She never acted out of turn unless it mattered...this mattered.

For a woman, she was rather tall, and that height was to her advantage as she leaned in, teeth gently clenched in worry. Eyes open to him. "Only…" Hands reaching for the fastening of the cloak that kept the chill away from his shoulders. "Only if you say something worth hearing." She was not the village, and what she needed to hear was different. It was unfair of her to push him for an answer. If she were in his position, she would have kept quiet too, or worked herself into a panic attack.

Still, that had always been her goal. Push her own boundaries, surpass her own limits.

She had pushed her long dark hair behind her ear, let her fingers run down her neck in a fluid motion. One she had obviously done many times in the past. Porcelain skin bared to him, it was a show he instinctually knew as submission. If Shukaku was still inside of him, he was sure he would have nipped at her neck, tasting her flesh, and her blood. He swallowed hard. Was this what they called coming onto a person? This direct interest?

He wasn't particularly sure, but he found the situation pleasing to him.

Taking a chance, he let one of his palms fall gently upon her cheek, his fingers caressing the soft skin. He had never done that before, never in an attempt to soothe himself, or the person he touched. Touch, for him, was always a negative thing. He waited for her to flinch, to pull away, recoiling into herself. She didn't move, but, she wasn't tense either. She was waiting for him, docile, but there was no fear in her eyes.

"I will kiss you." He said, as he come to that utmost important decision.

It was then Hinata startled a bit, wondering from where that came from, but she didn't pull away when his lips touched her own.

She let the hands resting on his chest to trail up to his shoulders. The action caused him to shiver under her fingertips. All too soon, the chastise contact ended, a small gap dividing them again, but Hinata found a hesitancy in his eyes.

He hadn't wanted to pull away…

"Gaara." She murmured his name, and she was following him. Her hands now cupping his cheeks ever so gently. Leaning up and into him, taking his lips once more. They were tightly closed against hers. His eyes were the same. She pulled back.

"Do not." He said darkly, his voice deeper than usual, strained. He held her to him, feeling her warm body against his. "The invitation is intoxicating."

"Shouldn't it be?" She asked.

He damn near snarled. How could form such a question? Her scent, her voice, and her body. All if it inspired unfathomable desires. "I ask that you do not." He had been a man denied of such urges for so long. He knew nothing but frustration and willpower. He didn't want to be a killer again, and had sealed away such emotions tightly, fear his only motivator. "It may be deadly."

"It's instinct." She told him. Feral. Wild. She was used to boys...to men with that glint in their gaze. It was a rush, and in some ways a comfort. "Instinct...that I like."

"I might end you." He replied emotionlessly. "I do not know. I have no conclusive evidence."

"In the right state, you might try." Hinata nodded. "Still, I'm a kunoichi. I'd take the threat to my person seriously."

"An attempt is unforgiveable." He was sure of this, if nothing else. He would never forgive himself if he hurt this woman. If he even tried, he'd hate himself.

"It's always forgivable, sometimes, it's even expected." Given her fighting style, she would always have the advantage so close to him. "Please…listen." She could cut off chakra points without much effort. Though he was stronger, she doubted his clouded judgement would be his advantage. "If you were ever to reach such a disillusioned state, it would not be instantaneous. I would have time to react." She would too. Her shyness be damned, she was still a powerful ninja in her own rights. "I know from experience, closing off the chakra point in your torso would be enough."

Eyes widened at that. A question with no words.

"It's too close to the central nervous system." Hinata explained, her palm sliding to rest over his belly. "Not to mention the point just a bit lower." The one above his groin. She knew all of the points on his body. Would need only to activate her bloodline limit, and she would have control of the situations in moments, if she didn't have any other choice. "You don't…have to worry about killing me."

"My sand." It was his only explanation.

"Would have to come between us when we're so close." Hinata murmured. "It would protect me too, then. Give me a distance from you."

He forced himself to look away, a deep breath in his chest constricting his words, in the same way that a snake coils around its victim. How could she do that? Say those things with such a sense of sincerity? She believed every word, and hoped that he did too.

Every thought he had, every fear – ash to her logic.

He had no words for that, and pulled her into him, flush against his body. He wanted to believe her. Still, he held back, unsure of the twisting knot in the pit of his stomach, the rousing desire just lower that kept him from his pursuit.

"Gaara." She hissed through her teeth, fighting the fearfulness in her tone. "Let me…" This was what she needed to know the most. The answers to so many questions. "Let me kiss you, the way I want to kiss you." Could he, would he, relinquish his power to her?

What was she destined to be in his eyes? What was her purpose? How much power would he hold over her, here in this room? Was he going to see her as a woman? Or merely the progenitor of future leaders? Was he going to meet her needs as the man in her life – as a husband? Or was she merely to rise to his occasions – his whims? Did she have a voice in all of this, would he let her have one?

If he retaliated, so be it. She had to know.

She leaned up, taking another kiss from him, but this one was more forceful, dripping with panic, with fear. When she was met with resistance once more, an unhappy sound worked its way from her throat. A squeak of frustration, of loss.

…He didn't like that sound…it bothered him…sounded like a dying creature begging for mercy.

He softened his jaw, loosened his lips – relented.

She took control, relief flooding her. Fingers yanking softly at his ruddy hair, she kissed him fiercely. Teeth nipping at his lower lips – possessive, dominant. Tongue dipping in to meet his. Slow and uncertain. Her blush was hot, if anyone saw this, she'd be mortified. Modesty found her again like a kick in the gut. What in the hell was she doing? She pulled away, arms still resting around his neck, lungs grabbing for air.

It was too much, all of it was just too much. She backed away more confused than before, as his eyes twinkled in shock, and something else…something dumbfounded. Had a woman never kissed him like that before? She didn't have the courage to ask. She didn't think she could take the answer as her heart tried to settle itself. The night had been too tense.

She walked over to the bed, and buried herself under the covers, using them like a cocoon.

She had her answer - but what was she supposed to do now that she had it?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you all for bearing with me in the time it took to get this chapter to you. My mind was in other places.

 **Chapter 9**

Naruto was many things, but he wasn't stupid.

He knew he acted like a total and complete idiot sometimes, but that was to his advantage. People who underestimated him regretted it. It was fun to act goofy, it was nice to keep some of his childlike innocence. For all of his moronic tendencies, he knew the painful truth. He was an adult now – a jaded one. One blooded by war, and reality. He knew what it meant to let go, and what it meant to hold on to things precious to him.

He knew how to find that balance - tough as it was to maintain.

After the short time Hinata had been away, he waited for a number of days. If Hinata had ever come home, he would have married her right there and then. Demanding that it was officiated, harassing every high ranking council member if he had to. He could be very persuasive when he wanted to be, purely because he wouldn't shut up. The loud mouth always got attention in Konoha, that's how it worked.

He would kick up a fuss, and they would agree…or go insane, which ever one came first.

So he'd gotten a ring, half hoping, half praying, that Hinata would come home. That she would come back to him. She had made him want things he hadn't thought about. Made him think about his life in a much more steadfast way.

Because of Hinata, his dreams had grown.

He didn't just want to be the Hokage anymore. He wanted a wife, he wanted children, and he wanted to pass on his skills to those children. He dreamed one day they would take his place. That they too, would feel the urge to protect the land he called home…the land they would consider theirs to defend to the death. He wanted to provide for the future, to leave behind something more.

Maybe it was just his pride that made him think those things. Yet, Hinata by his side or not, he knew what he wanted. His dreams had grown bigger, and they wouldn't shrink back down…so, like the dreamer he was, he began to make them realities…by putting himself back into the dating game at full force. He had been on four dates so far, but none of them held his interest for long. They were enamored with dating the village hero, but they weren't enamored with who he really was.

"They just don't get me, you know?" Naruto said as he held his forehead protector in his hands. "We can't talk about fighting styles or training. I can't tell them about the missions I've been on either."

"Why not?" Sakura asked as two bowls were put in front of them. She watched as Naruto slowly picked up the chopsticks, his usual vigor no longer there. It hadn't been there for a long time. "Not all of the missions you take are classified. Most of them are currier missions, girls like to hear about that stuff. It's romantic to hear about the places you visited, and the people you've met along the way. If you remember things like that, it shows that you care."

"Yeah, but those are my memories." Naruto said quietly. "They're not romantic. I don't want them to be."

"Sounds complicated." At first, Sakura was just trying to joke with him, make him smile. There was only honesty in his words.

"It is." Naruto mulled it over, and told her. "I can't share those memories, because those girls aren't like you, Sakura. They don't understand what it means to be on the other end of a kunai. Besides, it's not like I have a lot of hobbies."

No, Sakura supposed they really didn't. Time didn't allow for them. Missions, training, and other work kept them busy. At the end of the day, all anyone really wanted to do was go to the bathhouse, find a place to get dinner, and slowly unwind from the days stressors. Reading books was about as exciting as things managed to get in the sleepy village, if only because missions afforded for too much stress as it was. When was the last time she had a proper outing? She couldn't even recall.

"I told you, a civilian just won't appeal to you." Sakura sighed as Naruto lamented over his bowl of noodles. "You need someone strong enough to stand beside you, and those girls don't have what it takes."

"Yeah…" He sadly agreed, giving Sakura a sideways glance. "How are….you guys…doing?"

Sakura just smiled. Sasuke was a hard man to love, but that was only fair. She wasn't an easy woman. Together, they made for a dysfunctional pair that hardly saw each other. He was always on missions, and she was drowning in work. They wouldn't be a match made in heaven, but that was just as well. At least he came back home to her now, and that meant something. Still, given her situation, she couldn't exactly help Naruto. "Word of advice, Naruto…don't take my advice."

He laughed at this, but it wasn't as care free as it used to be. "No…really though…"

"We're…" Sakura shrugged. "We're good. Sasuke's out for another three weeks, then who knows, really…"

"I see." Naruto nodded. "Well that's good I guess."

"Tenten is single." Sakura said simply, thinking she might be a good match for Naruto. Tenten could handle him, if he had any interest in her at all. Naruto's blue eyes met Sakura's green. Holding her stare, searching for something distant. She knew what he was doing, but could only put an arm around his shoulders in a show of solidarity. "Don't do that." She chided gently.

"But…"

"No, trust me, okay?" She told him, trying to comfort all of the questions he was too afraid to ask…all of the questions Sakura had once asked herself. "Just don't." Naruto really was like a brother to her. "You won't find your answers in my screwed up past."

"Sorry…" He murmured.

She rolled her eyes, wishing he would lost his temper, break down…cry or something…something she could actually react to. As it was, all she could do was offer him words that he wouldn't completely believe. "You're a good man, Naruto."

He rested his head on her shoulder. "I've been lonely before. Just not this kind of lonely. It's so different. I don't know. I guess I just thought I could handle it better."

"You say that, and I know you don't believe me." Sakura told him as she let him just lean against her. "You're doing better than you think."

…

Gaara was too strong for his own good, and on occasion, he forgot his own strength.

Hinata wordlessly stood in the carnage that could only come from a family feud. A door lay open, cracked and splintered, and a few holes indicated that someone's fists had made contact with the wall. Sand dirtied the floor. Metal pieces belonging to puppets left a trail down the hallway, and Temari sat in the kitchen – drinking tea as bellowing echoed down the hallway.

"Shouldn't someone do something?" Hinata asked her as they kept a distance.

"Are you kidding?" Temari asked with an understanding smirk. "They're boys, let em' blow off a little steam. Knowing Kankuro, he probably started it."

Hinata had to admit, Gaara didn't seem like the type to instigate an explosive argument. End one, perhaps, but not instigate it. "What on earth are they fighting about?"

"Girls." Temari sighed then, leaning back into her seat, one leg crossed over the other. "Kankuro likes to bring them home sometimes. Gaara never used to care, but with you around…" Green eyes flicked over Hinata's form, a grin playing on the Suna ninja's lips. "Well, I guess he doesn't want you to see something you shouldn't."

Hinata thought on this. "He thinks I would see it as a poor reflection on his brother's behalf?"

"Or Gaara's own." Temari didn't worry about what her brothers did, so long as she didn't get caught up in the battle. "Not that you would probably know anything about that, being a Hyuga and all."

It wasn't meant to be insulting, but for some reason it was. Being reminded of her status made her feel as if she'd failed somewhere along the way. After all, the cursed seal was on her forehead, not her sister's. Hinata didn't think of the seal as a negative thing, merely a fact of life. Even so, it irked her to be thought of as innocent or defenseless. Hinata lifted her tea to her lips. "Do I truly seem unable to comprehend the bedroom intrigue?"

Temari coughed, not expecting that kind of question. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"You were thinking it." Hinata murmured. "It's alright, I suppose it would be a shock. The rumors say otherwise."

"Rumors…" Temari sighed. "I know a little something about those myself."

"Rumors are often laced with fact." She stated that so clearly that it hurt. "I'm a defective Hyuga at best. I never immersed myself into my clan's politics any more than I had to." Hinata replied, still feeling a little sour. "Besides that, some of my best friends are complete perverts, but Gaara should know that."

Temari shrugged. "I don't know if he even thinks rationally when it comes to you."

Hinata didn't want to think about that. "He really hasn't told you anything, has he?"

"Don't know why he would." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kankuro go flying across the hall, and heard the crash that followed soon after. "That sounded like it hurt…"

"That's it, I'm putting a stop to it." Hinata said as she went out into the hallway. Gaara was scowling, arms crossed. Kankuro was equally annoyed, disheveled, and lacking his war paint. Seeing that they were getting ready for another brawl, she stepped in the large space between them. "That is by far enough ruckus for one morning." Hinata scolded as she looked between the two. "Gaara, please…put the sand down."

He growled, having formed a mass of it in his hand. He'd fully intended on clobbering his older brother for a while more, but Hinata seemed displeased. Considering this, the grains in his hand fell onto the floor in a soft mound. He strode passed Hinata and met his sibling's gaze. "You will clean up this mess. You will outfit yourself in mission attire. You will go to the academy, and train the students accordingly." Turning on his heel, he gave one last aggravated order. "Stay out of my sight, or consequences will resume."

Hinata took that to mean they'd continue trying to trounce each other. Still, she was happy that he nodded to her and entered the kitchen instead.

"You know, you really shouldn't be so angry. He is your brother."

Temari lifted her gaze to the two who were now at the kitchen counter. Gaara give his sister a threatening look, and the blonde flicked her gaze back down to the morning paper. The baby brother was absolutely livid.

"Gaara!" The protest pulled his vision to his betrothed. She wasn't amused, in fact, she seemed almost angry.

"You are displeased." He stated calmly.

"I absolutely detest unwarranted violence." She told him, watching as his gaze flicked to Temari once more. Her fingers found his cheek, forcing his gaze back to hers. "She's not the one talking to you." Hinata pressed. "I am."

"I have noticed." He took her hand in his, removing it from his face. his palm was hot and sweaty to the touch. "I will see to your displeasure."

"You're the one causing it."

He froze, darkly rimmed eyes widening. "What?" He deeply growled.

"I don't like violence." Hinata told him, as her eyes fell to the ground. "Not for the sake of it, not just because you're upset." Another set of growls reached the air. Such a feral person, so untamed, even in strictness. She could tell he was confused with what to do. "Gaara?"

"My word is law." He rumbled.

"Are you angry at him because he's otherwise involved with someone?" Hinata truly wondered. What was at the core of this rage? What was the reason for the festering ire? "Or are you angry that he brought that person into the household?"

Gaara gave her an insipid look. "Deviation on my word, means consequences."

"What on earth did your brother deviate from, human nature?" Hinata shook her head. "Sometime, it is not with the time or the effort to upset yourself over little things. You'll grow old before your time…or the very least, you'll go grey."

Gaara once again turned on his heel and retreated from the kitchen, not even a roll of bread or piece of fruit in hand. He went to the offices and clicked the door shut. Pressed his back against the thick wood, he forced himself to settle down. Only his family could do this to him, pricking at his mind, reminding him that they were normal. That their actions were acceptable, while his were not. It was not normal to be so angry, apparently, in the words of his betrothed, violence was a detestable action.

He was a detestable person.

So be it then. He had work to do. He went to his desk, sitting down and methodically setting up his workspace. The pen in his hand crunched, splattering ink all over the place when the door opened. Hinata had followed him, and he'd forgotten to lock the door. "You should go." He told her unkindly as she locked the door behind her. "I have duties to see to." He was using his sand to blot the ink, but the documents were already ruined. His hand was also stained, dripping black dots into the trash bin.

"We all do." She told him, as she pulled the handkerchief out of her pocket. "I'm where I'm needed."

"You are not." He rebuked, but she was already cleaning his hand with the handkerchief after she wetted it with the nearby container of drinking water. He allowed this, because it meant she was not entirely repulsed by him. However, he also doubted she saw him favorably anymore. "This is not your home. You should return your village."

She flicked her gaze to his, but that didn't last long. "I'm not so duplicitous!" She shouted so harshly that it hurt. "I have told you that before. My intentions are far above the both of us." Terribly so. It hurt to have an offer of her homeland put before her. It hurt that he underestimated her conviction in all of this. It hurt that he still didn't seem to trust her. Her eyes were fixated on his bleeding thumb, not his glare. "This is what you do to yourself." She lifted his wrist. "Give that a good look."

When his gaze stayed on her, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Look!"

All he saw was red and black. It colored the white cloth in ugliness. "I am a demon, men are forged into them. Yet, even once extracted, a demon's cloak does not shed."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Only a few more chapters of this story left to go. As an experiment, this was a learning experience I needed for future work of these characters. As a story, it's lackluster. Even I know that. Still, I know that once this is completed, I will be much more confidant in working with their interaction in the future. It's because of this fiction that I was able to start refining my views of them as a couple.

The fruits of this labor are best displayed in the new story I just posted called " **Hindsight 20/20** ". I think you'll find that the way Gaara and Hinata are portrayed in that story far surpasses the content of this story.

All of that being said, this chapter is particularly short due to the inherent darkness of it. I thought it best for it to stand alone on its own merits. Lots of blood and heavy topics in the chapter too, sorry for those of you who are squeamish.

 **Chapter 10  
(The Chill: Part 1)**

He was a fool.

Nothing more, nothing less, than an absolute fool.

She couldn't tell him that. She wished she had the same blind rage as Sakura and Ino. She wished she could smack him right upside the head. She might have, if that would have helped. Violence was not the answer, forcing Gaara into a corner wasn't either….but…what was? What was the correct thing to do in the face of such a disillusioned man? A man who could call his villagers kin, but could not call his betrothed trustworthy.

What wall was there? Why did he keep it up? What kept him so distant, so far away, and at odds from the truth? Wasn't he lonely? Wasn't he tired...even of just of being tired, of staying up until he collapsed?

She couldn't pull him from the hole he kept digging for himself. He wouldn't let her.

Distantly, she remembered slapping Naruto…if it could really be called a slap.

That was all he needed. That tiny contact validated everything, and Naruto had reached for her hand. He had stood up on his own, his faith in others alive and well. The same way it had always been, the same way it would always be.

Where was Gaara's faith? Where was his dream?

"I told you, I don't go back on my word. Men can be demonic, but that doesn't apply just to you." Hinata told him so quietly that he had to strain himself to hear it. "Rip me into tiny pieces, spread my blood across the floor until you're happy. You don't have to tolerate my existence. If that's too gruesome, you could just beat me, rape me, and call me worthless until I actually believe it."

"Don't even say such filth." Gaara growled. "It's sickening."

"That's what a demon would do." She had no doubt. She had no question that some men lesser than Gaara would resort to that. "If you were really a demon, wouldn't you want that?"

The blood from his hand continued to drip. Each ugly little droplet coloring something. Be it his pants, or his chair, the cloth, or the cheek that had tucked itself into his palm. The salt from her tears burning when it hit his cuts. The red blood and black ink smearing across her face. Even then, she didn't flinch. Not even when the sticky fluid starting running down her cheek, her neck, down to where he couldn't see. It began soaking into her thin shirt. Those dark spots right between her breasts, if he didn't know any better, he'd assume she was injured.

He pulled his hand away, dragging even more blood to drip, this time along her chin, and it splattered into the floor with a loud plop. Others followed, clear droplets of emotion pattering down. He did that, too. He knew it. He was breaking her. Slowly and surely, he was breaking this woman into pieces that couldn't be seen.

He didn't like it. Those tears were unfavorable. Disgusting. Wrong.

Wrong because they were not of joy, or relief, but of pain. So deep that he might as well have cut her to bits. Verbally, perhaps he had. Perhaps he had just crushed her soul, the same way his had been mangled many times. Left to beat, even when he didn't want it to.

"I cause you nothing but pain. I trample your logics, I spit your kindness with vengeful words, and leave you covered in my own stink." What did she want? Mercy? Condolences? "Why do you kneel before me? Why do you let me touch you? You are not Naruto, clinging onto everything so that you never have to go back to starving for warmth or comfort. You owe me nothing. I will not bind you here."

Eyes closed, she stood to look at him. Words would earn her nothing, so she turned and walk out the door, still covered in Gaara's blood. Her whole body was numb as she went back into their rooms, closing the door soundlessly behind her. She looked terrible, the mirror wasn't going to lie. Still, her mind was blank. Seeing the chair she had so often claimed as her own, she curled up, and she cried.

Cried for Gaara, and because of Gaara.

Crying, because there was nothing left she could do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **(The Chill: Part 2)**

He walked into the bedroom late that night expecting emptiness. Why would she stay after all? What would prompt her to even tolerate his very existence beyond this point? Only a foolish creature who wished suicide would even think it, and he doubted her a foolish creature.

Headstrong perhaps, and noble to a fault, but not wishing her own demise.

The darkness was what welcomed him, shadows and nothing more. There was no fire burning brightly, only ashes. The room was cold, but no colder than he had long grown accustomed to as a child. He could smell blood, and a soft sob reached his ears.

it pricked at his very consciousness, and drove him to search for the sound. Instinct dragged him to the spot that he knew she would be.

That godforsaken chair.

Huddled in a quivering little ball, covered in his blood still. It had been a full day, hours and hours had passed, and here she had been sitting. Probably hungry, no doubt thirsty…yet all she did was shake, clinging onto that all too thin blanket, and for what?

For him?

Not hardly. That, he easily concluded was impossible…and yet there she sat, her eyes piercing through the darkness, seeing him stand before her. He sighed at length. "Why are you still covered in my filth?" The matter perplexed him, but she didn't answer. "Speak!" He growled dangerously. "Do not tempt me further to end you!"

To be honest, if she had to be… "I don't know." Her mind was so blank, devoid of even the most basic pretense. "I don't even…" She closed her lips, pulled them into a tight frown. "I can't help you." That's what hurt the most. "You won't even let me."

"I am in no need of help." Gaara took one step forward. "Clearly you are the one in a state of ill-repair."

"Everyone needs help sometimes." She glanced to his hand, the bandaged tied onto it had been done haphazardly, as if he'd tied it himself with his good hand and his teeth. The bite marks in the white cotton proved as much. "I want to help you, I want to be by your side…" She turned away. "You don't understand that."

"I understand that you are covered in my blood." Gaara replied, forcefully grabbing her by the chin. "I understand that you toy with fire. That you think you have some sort of power. I understand that you are misguided." His fingers rested against her pulse, he could feel it slowly elevating. "I do not understand why you continue to test my ire."

Because it would eventually break…but she couldn't tell him that. Couldn't find the words, so she lifted her fingers, wrapping them around his wrist delicately. He could snap her neck in a heartbeat, but his fingers held her with firm gentleness.

Not allowing her to look away, but not hurting her either.

She didn't know why she trusted his rage so avidly. She knew the raw power beneath the surface could end her, but she doubted he would. She doubted his malice dripped that far down into the core of his being. "I have always tried to surpass my current limitation." Hinata said, feeling her throat flex against his palm as she spoke. "I have never met a problem I could not overcome."

"Humans are not limitless."

"No." Hinata agreed. "They're not." Reaching forward with her free hand, wondering what he might do, she swallowed hard. "But I know that dreams are. People follow those limitless dreams to their conclusion, whatever that may be."

"Then this is a nightmare." Gaara snarled, fighting against his urge to just kill her and be done with the whole sordid mess then and there.

"Then if it is, wake up." Hinata felt his hand tighten slowly, and she gasped a hard breath. "Wake up." She coughed, watching his eyes in the darkness, those glints of white surrounded by black markings…that twinkle of rage in those wide irises. "Th-that's all you have to do."

"Your ideology holds no bearing." Gaara protested as he released her from his harsh grip, all but flinging her into the back of the chair. "You speak from a place of propriety and privilege. You have always known of your place. You have never once been forced to question the need of your very existences. You understand nothing of bloodlust."

He was nearly drooling now. "You have no grasp of what it means..." He rasped out against his own ragged breath. "No idea...how it feels...to force mercy upon the very thing you want to kill." And he wanted to hurt her now, kill her. "Giving into that satisfaction is tempting. It's gratifying." He turned to look at her. "You're a sadist's greatest desire, seeking out continual torture, asking to be sullied…"

It went against his human heart to harm another, but it was the beast-like upbringing that told him to kill her now. To force her to submit to his utmost power of will. Either killing her, or ruining her, whatever happened first was of no consequence to him. He sat on that fine edge of sanity, perched on it in a way that he hadn't since he was a small child, trying to learn why his heart hurt…why he was so lonely…he had been told others had to heal that wound, but no one had tried.

No one besides the one man who was so much like him, sharing the crucifix of living as a Jinchuriki.

This woman attached herself to monsters. He and Naruto were very different beasts, but they were still inhuman monsters. The blonde was merely a tamed one, something Gaara knew he could never be. "Do you not yet understand what I am, or what you are to me?"

On two shaky legs she stood from her chair. "Beat an animal enough, it bites back. That's just fear. That's all it is. It's a defense." She was sure Gaara was above that though. That he was more human, and maybe more afraid than any animal could ever be. "Beat a human enough, it'll become more than fear. It'll become justification. An animal can't justify their actions, but people do." She was sure that in Gaara's mind, he was justified in his actions. He was doing the right thing, or, as right a thing as he understood to do. "Isn't there any good in you? Any qualities you can take pride in?"

He was a prideful person in his own way, but that pride was not a reflection of himself. It was a reflection of what he hadn't completely obliterated. It was what his mercy had managed of him, growing a mindless killer child into a man worthy of the blood he spilled. A ninja, a Kazekage, a keeper of hundreds of lives within the village he looked after. He chose to protect them because it proved he could. It proved he was more than the murder he had been raised to be. All of that good was not within him, it was not because of him.

It was in spite of him.

She would live, in spite of his rage, because he was a master of it. She would continue to breathe, because he allowed it.

"Answer me this, and I will permit you to stay if you so wish it." He sighed, refusing to look at the woman as he stepped towards the window. "How do you heal a wound that's been bleeding for years? How do you stop the pain that has become so ingrained into every aspect of your life?"

For a long time, she said nothing, listening to his breath starting to calm. He watched his twitching shadow, until he stood firm and solid once more.

"Wounds will bleed no matter what you do, if you keep picking at them." Hinata chastised quietly. "Pain doesn't go away completely. Hardship…" She wondered about that. Did it ever really get easier? "It…" Probably not. It probably only got just more bearable. "If you cut yourself, it's going to leave a scar. It doesn't matter if the knife is metal, or something else. Scars…they happen…it happens and you have to accept that…let me help you do that."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Yes, yes, you perverts. I know, you're looking for a lemon. I'm well aware of it, and that'll come in chapter 13 as an extra. Steamy or not, well, who knows. The fact is, I frankly am not a lemon writer, it's not my best skill, so I've recruited a bit of help for that, but you'll just have to wait. For anyone not interested in said lemon, this is the conclusion.

For the rest of you looking for the citrus, you'll just have to wait a little longer.

 **Chapter 12**

 **(The Coldest Night)**

She wanted to help him...

He permitted that with a grudging tolerance that almost cracked several times over.

His recovery from his own dark desires didn't happen all at once, in fact, one could argue he hadn't recovered at all. It was maddening at first, and he thought she would provoke him over the edge. In fact, at first he hated the fact that she followed him around the way that she did, trying to dote on him in silly little ways. She was compliant, but also persistent. The strange way she managed to bend his resolve agitated him, but, it also comforted him.

Sometimes he was rash, and other times, he acted more fiercely than he should have.

Sometimes she pushed him too far, and other times, not nearly far enough.

The coming weeks drifted by hesitantly, almost as if they were back at square one. She took to the chair at night, and he stayed awake tending the fire. Temari continued to help Hinata during their various duties, and Kankuro nearly drove Gaara crazy on more than one occasion.

There were a lot of cuts and bruises to mend, sore feelings too.

There were walls to patch up, and there was glass to sweep.

Gaara even managed to break a few more pens, and Hinata forced him to let her clean up the mess.

There were little moments, quiet times, and soft words. All of it was distant, logical, and unfeeling. Yet, they were his words for her. Shared over their morning snack in front of the firelight. She listened as he spoke of the first person he ever killed, of the first sparring match he'd ever won, and of the many exploits of his genin days. The gore was what titillated him, and he shared that with her.

To her credit, she listened, and managed to withhold herself from cringing at his more violent tales. In return, she told him about how she had once lost her eyesight. She spoke of the many fights she had shared with her cousin, and she reflected on her rather complicated upbringing. She told him why she feared blood and death, why loss was painful, and why she hated violence.

After a long time, he finally began to speak of other things, things less rooted in vengeance and war, things more simple and abstract.

Weeks turned into months. Could they tolerate each other? Yes. Those months brought the new changes of seasons. Could they continue on with such a strange routine? No.

The year was almost up, and Gaara was faced with the fact that Hinata had not yet scurried away from him. What would he do? He found himself unsure, because never once had he ever suspected to be faced with the possibility that a woman would favor him.

Hinata had, and she didn't completely regret it.

The paper in front of him already sat marked with her name. She'd signed it, they were married, and he realized that her promise was not ironclad. Set in stone. She hadn't left him abandoned in his own darkness.

The reality of it all struck him that dusty winter evening when the sand and wind were bitter cold. The full moon was busy casting the dunes into darkness. The sun would not rise above the hilltops for several days. When it did, it would warm the subzero temperatures once more. Until then, this night was known in Sunagakure as the coldest night of the year.

The longest one, where not even the children snuck out to play. There were no missions, and the shops remained closed. Families stayed by the fire, lovers cooped themselves up in their beds, and for a short time, all of the villagers knew only quiet serenity. This night was once fearsome, a night when Gaara ran rampant and uncontrolled. Yet, as he considered the moon above, he felt nothing but peace now.

Nothing but a sense of completion that he had never before understood.

"Gaara, it's getting late." Hinata beckoned from the far side of the bedchamber. "Come to bed…"

"Hm."

Gaara would never know if he was capable of love. If such a thing even existed, even mattered, to a being such as himself. Even so, there was one thing he was completely sure of. One little truth that he would never doubt. He was a demon. He was prone to animalistic rage, he was not without faults, and he was not above dark thoughts. He was both monster and man, built in the image of terror himself. So he would continue to wear his demon's cloak. Carrying it upon his shoulders for the rest of his days.

He would only shed it this once, for her, on the coldest night.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Here is the promised bonus. I hope you all enjoy it.

 **Chapter 13**

Gaara would never know if he was capable of love. If such a thing even existed, even mattered, to a being such as himself. In spite of this, in spite of himself, there was one thing he would never, ever doubt.

He was a demon.

He was both monster and man, carnal and carnivorous. Utter terror in and of himself. He would forever be burdened to wear his demon's cloak. He would only shed it this once, for her, on the coldest night in Sunagakure.

She was lying in wait for him beneath the soft blankets. Naked yet concealed as she waited for this man to come to her. This man that she had sworn her life to only hours before. Giving him her hand in matrimony. Now, she would give to him her body, as she promised she would.

It was a strange thing, she thought, realizing that he was not as lustful as he deemed himself to be. She had to call him from the window, demand his gaze fall upon her instead. Once she did that, she could see his thoughts so clearly, in ways she had never before been given the opportunity.

"Gaara, it's getting late." Hinata murmured, rolling over to the side, and clutching the thin sheet to her bosom. She didn't want it to slip from her just yet. "Come to bed."

"Hm."

His agreeance was so soft. Hardly there at all.

She watched him walk over to her side of the bed, perching himself on the edge of it. He wore only a robe of the finest silk. As she sat up, letting the sheet fall from her grasp. She did nothing to hide her torso from his gaze. She found it impossible to look at him either way, her eyes aside and downcast. She expected to feel his touch that instant, but she didn't. All she heard was his soft breath.

It made her blush deeper, knowing he was watching her. Waiting foe her in some way. It wasn't shame, or even shyness. It was the next words she had for him, sitting at the tip of her tongue. What she had to say, words she had said many times before, bore repeating now. "I'm not afraid, you may do with me as you wish."

With bared teeth gently clenched together, a rumble slipped from the man in front of her. It wasn't one of anger, or frustration like she'd heard many times before. It was different, a sound that resonated deeply, nearly something akin to approval…and she wondered what he might be looking at.

Where was that gaze of his fixated? She could only assume it was her large breasts, as they were simply on complete display, and she had made no move yet to conceal herself from her now husband.

His palm upon her cheek guided her to look at him, to see his expression for the first time that night in the dimness of the room. It was heated, hooded eyes, thinning lips, that tight expression of his soft around the edges, anticipating, planning…unsure….

Hinata nodded to his question, but even that left him clueless to what he might be able to do…without harming her. Honestly, he wanted to bite into her flesh, mark her, claim her, and leave her bloody upon his bed…even thinking about that forced a sigh from him. "If I do as I wish…" that hand of his trailed down her shoulder and then down her arm, squeezing more and more tightly as he went, stopping just above her elbow. "you'll die."

His grip was fierce, almost too painful, and Hinata was an accomplished ninja. She could endure massive amounts of pain. She was sure, if she endured this for too long, he'd break her arm.

"I see…" she winced as he released her.

"I hope you do." He didn't know how to cope with his deepest desires.

"Then…" She swallowed hard. She could take control, would do it for his sake. She would need to appeal to that dangerous nature of his. It was almost exciting, wondering what the predator within his soul would do once released of its shackles. "Please, Gaara, kiss me."

He leaned in to do just that, his lips upon hers moments after her request, deepening it with another deep rumble of his throat when he felt her fingers grip his shoulders. Slipping and clawing at the fabric that donned him, Hinata teased the skin she exposed. Then her arms slipped around his neck, and she grabbed at the base of his neck, his ruddy hair, and leaning backwards, she dragged him with her.

They crashed onto the bed, and his unusually sharp teeth cut into the side of her lip. He pulled away once the metallic taste hit his tongue, a burst of flavor that made his eyes flash dangerously with intent.

Hinata was breathless, and it did hurt a little. With all seriousness, she let her nails dig into his flesh. "Kiss me, Gaara." She told him with absolute urgency. "This time, don't stop."

As she expected he might do, the first like he did was lick at the cut made by his teeth accidentally, before diving into taste her sweet kiss once more. A scent soon began to catch his attention, and it was one he liked. He broke the kiss to press his nose to the place just under her jaw. He then kissed her there too, once…twice…a third time and he trailed lower, another kiss on her throat, another on her collar bone, and then back up, to the base of her neck…right by her shoulder. He smelt her blood pulsing, and something more…something welcoming yet different. He nuzzled that place, licked it, and then let one of his teethe graze that flesh ever so slightly.

Hinata released a breathy sigh that pricked his ears.

He repeated the action, and so did she.

With a yank of his ruddy hair, she pulled him up for another deep kiss, and so that she could manipulate his clothes. He was wearing far too many of them. She didn't relish the thought of power fantasies, and she wanted Gaara to know that he couldn't hurt her…that she would relinquish control, but that would take it back too. Her palm rested the back of his neck, one burst of chakra would render him unconscious or worse. Any ninja knew that, and he seemed to enjoy his hair getting tugged.

Thinking about that made a tingle flow down her spine.

Keeping her tongue tangled with his, she pushed the cloth robe from his shoulders. The fabric dragged from between their bodies, and she sighed. The one hindrance left, and Gaara's firm chest was exposed against her full breasts. She released a sigh at this.

When he felt them against him, a near snarl pulled him back.

Hinata swallowed hard. It was going to be a dominance game soon, and she didn't want that. Not tonight, and she let her hands cup his face. Eye to eye, so that neither one of them could lose focus. Any other time, she'd willingly take his ferocity at whatever pace he wanted, but right now she needed him to realize that each touch of their flesh wasn't going to threaten his livelihood.

That he wouldn't be able to threaten hers, like he feared he might.

"L-Let..." this was no time for her to fall into bad habits, and she cursed herself She was the one with experience, wasn't she? She knew what she wanted, what she liked...and she was sure...damn sure in fact, that he'd like it too. "Let me take your robe off." She told him, thankful that there wasn't much light in the room. Her cheeks were burning hot. She wanted the rest of her to burn the same way. "You're going to take me, but you're going to do it my way."

His palms bracing himself on the pillows, he could only nod. In truth, he halfheartedly wanted to protest.

"Come closer." she whispered hotly against his neck.

He lowered himself just a little, resting his head on her shoulder. His teeth ached, his mind did too, and that said nothing for the throbbing of his nether regions that had become uncomfortable the moment he'd been allowed to taste her blood. Feeling her skin against his was just about all he could take. It was all so new, so vivid, and he would last long unless some part of him snapped completely. "I'm going to kill you."

"You won't." She assured him. He spoke only of fear, she would keep them both safe. "If you need to bite me, you can. Do it on my shoulder, not my neck." Fear that he might kill her. That his instincts told him to. Fear she would shred away from him, because she wanted to. "You won't kill me."

"You'll bleed."

She knew that. He wasn't the only one with sharp teethe to ever be a biter. She fully expected it. "If I do, just kiss it away."

She was more focused on the robe then his lips kissing her neck and shoulder once more. After untying it, she slowly dragged it across his body, holding back a small laugh. Gaara shivered from the cool air across his heated skin. Kicking at the blankets, they were soon gone too, leaving only Gaara's own body to keep her warm, and her body to do the same for him.

"Remember…" she murmured gently as she grabbed hold of his hardened cock. "To kiss everything away…"

She guided him into her warm womanhood, another sigh broke through the air, and then a tiny moan as she felt him enter with an instinctual thrust of his hips. It was a little uncomfortable. He was larger than she thought he might be, and it had been a long time for her. "Don't…" She released a harsh breath. "Wait."

"I'm hurting you." Gaara growled deeply. "I'm hurting you…"

"I know…" She said from between her teeth. "I like that, but wait." She did in fact like pain, and she liked being stretched to capacity. She enjoyed not being entirely drenched for her first orgasm, so she could feel his every move, rough and raw against her core. She wanted to feel her wetness pool around him as it happened, her walls squeezing tightly the wetter and wetter she got, until she was so slippery she'd make a mess of the both of them several times over…but for now, she needed a moment.

A moment to catch her breath. To steady her resolve. To remind herself that she wanted this man. She needed him to see her as more than the woman he was currently bedding…and honestly, she needed a moment to keep herself from crying, because being married did scare her. Being like this, her legs spread, a man buried deep within her…it was as much a godsend as it was an intimidation.

He might not be able to kill her, but he most certainly would be able to break her…he almost did that once before…

She felt Gaara's lips against her own, and another moan lipped from her lips and into his mouth. He swallowed it, and another one before he broke the kiss. He licked the salty tear on her cheek away, and then kissed that flesh too.

"That's right." She murmured, and there was no hiding the emotion in her voice. "Keep kissing me."

So he did, capturing her lips with his own, and soon he felt her hips begin to roll slowly, over and over, in a motion he felt inclined to follow. So he did, bucking into her in a way that forced them to break the kiss when she cried out with a heavy and low moan that was as throaty as it was frantic. Then he felt it, her teeth imbedding themselves into his shoulder, her nails on his back, clawing lines he knew would trickle crimson as their pace continued fervently.

Her gyrating hips were rhythmic. Her taste was heady, her smell was too, and her succulent body was his. It drove him wild, and he nipped hard into her flesh, her blood pooling on his tongue again. Hinata pressed his face to the wound as she welcomed this animalistic ferocity, matching it with what she knew to be her own...in the only place she could ever allow herself to shatter in such a way.

In this demon's arms, she could be a succubus.

He drove into her long into the night…her cries of ecstasy filling his ears, as he at last filled her with his seed. He found himself breathless and spent, tangled up in her embrace. Mind numbed, but body alight.

Perhaps, he considered as he licked the blood off of her shoulder, that he belonged to her too...that in truth, she was the one that had him on a chain.


End file.
